Saturday, May 8, 2010

I Hated Mother's Day

As we went through month after month followed by year after year of infertility, I grew to hate one day above all others--Mother's Day. Going to church on that day was the worst part...smiling moms proudly cradling beautiful babies...the pastor's inevitable call for the mothers in the congregation to stand following his reminder to the congregation of the nobility of the role of motherhood in God's plan for His people...my own broken dream searing my heart as the other women in the church stood while I remained rooted to the cold, hard pew. I hated Mother's Day.

Who would have ever guessed that someone who faced such desolation and hopelessness would wake tomorrow with the happy realization that she's the mother of nine and will soon, Lord willing, be the mother of TWELVE?!? And nearly 20 years into being a mother, I love, love, LOVE my role as a mom even more than I thought I would during those difficult years of waiting.

I'm so grateful to God that he did eventually allow me the opportunity to experience pregnancy and even give birth to twins. But I'm equally grateful that the Lord has placed another 10 children in our lives through adoption. I never would have chosen this path without the blessing of infertility. Yes, I now think of our infertility as a blessing. From barrenness to bounty, my life is the story of God's plan being better than my own.

"He makes the barren woman abide in the house as a joyful mother of children. Praise the Lord!" ~Psalm 113:9

~Mrs. Beaver

4 comments:

WhiteStone said...

I'm loving your blog. We attend at MBC only occasionally and so I did not now your family well! This is really a nice way to get to know them.
Judy P
aka WhiteStone

WhiteStone said...

Well, my keyboard doesn't know how to spell "know".

AND the blog is a nice way to get to know YOU as well as "them".

My keyboard is such a klutzy writer.

*giggle*

Nordstroms said...

We too remember those days. He has turned our mourning into dancing.

the johnson crew said...

we did not struggle with infertility, however we struggled through loss and grief when we lost our oldest four. I remember that mothers day (i only had one while they were gone) and God used that so powerfully in my life.

happy mothers day. God bless you.