An Updated Family Photo

Getting a group picture of our tribe has always been a challenge considering our size. And now that our oldest daughters, Anna and Lissie, live in far away states with their husbands, the opportunities are few. However, Eric and Lissie's wedding presented the chance and photographer Lauren La Plante blessed us with this picture. The only change to the family is Lissie's small-but-growing bump.

Back row: (left to right) Brielle (15 months) Aaron Nix, Kirsten, Jim (Dad), Lissie Reynolds Moores, Eric Moores, Alexander, John (Lissie's twin), Matthew
Second row: Evelyn Rose (Seven weeks) Anna Reynolds Nix, Natasha, Zhenya
Front row: Amy, Denise (Mom), Oksana, Sarah, Tatyana

This was to be our Christmas card picture, but the cards are gathering dust on my desk since before my surgery in late December. If you're on our Christmas card list, please know we loved getting your greeting during the holiday season!

Our Marriage: We've Stumbled


(Please note: this post was originally penned by me [Denise], but because it is about OUR marriage we edited it together. Thus all the thoughts here are joint sentiments and learnings)



Photo credit -- Lauren La Plante at Eric and Lissie's Wedding October 2014

After three decades, Jim and I knew we needed a marriage refresher.

So while we each read Paul Tripp's STELLAR book on marriage, What Did You Expect?? several years ago, we're reading it aloud together this time.

A couple of nights ago we came upon a page that well sums up what we've found to be the greatest danger to the marital union. We would say "Yes! And amen!" to Tripp's thoughts below. We also want to own that within the last year, even after 30 years of marriage, we've both found ourselves struggling with the "disease" Tripp discusses here. Please bear with this long quote!

"2 Corinthians 5:14-15 reads 'For Christ's love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. And He died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for Him who died for them and was raised again" (NIV). The apostle Paul summarizes here what sin does to all of us. Sin turns us in on ourselves. Sin makes us shrink our lives to the narrow confines of our little self-defined world. Sin causes us to shrink our focus, motivation, and concern to the size of our wants, needs, and feelings. Sin causes all of us to be way too self-aware and self-important. Sin causes us to be offended most by offenses against us and to be concerned most for what concerns us. Sin causes us to dream selfish dreams and to plan self-oriented plans. Because of sin, we really do love us, and have a wonderful plan for our own lives!

"What all this means is that sin is essentially antisocial. We don't really have time to love our spouse, in the purest sense of what that means, because we are too busy loving ourselves. What we actually want is for our spouse to love us as much as we love ourselves, and if our spouse is willing to do that, we will have a wonderful relationship. So we try to co-opt our spouse into a willing submission to the plans and purposes of our claustrophobic kingdom of one.

"But there is more. Because sin is antisocial, it tends to dehumanize the people in our lives. No longer are they objects of our willing affection. No, they quit being the people we find joy in loving. Rather, they get reduced to one of two things. They are either vehicles to help us get what we want or obstacles in the way of what we want...We are kingdom-oriented people. We always live in the service of one of two kingdoms. We live in service of the small, personal happiness agenda of the kingdom of self, or we live in service of the origin-to-destiny agenda kingdom of God.

"When we live for the kingdom of self, our decisions, thoughts, plans actions and words are directed by personal desire. We know what we want, where we want it, why we want it, when we want it, and who we would prefer to deliver it. Our relationships are shaped by an infrastructure of subtle expectations and silent demands. We know what we want from people and how to get it from them. We seek to surround ourselves with people who will serve our kingdom purposes, and we evaluate them not from the perspective of the laws of His kingdom but of our kingdom.

"This side of heaven, there is a constant war between the kingdom of  self and the kingdom of God. Every battle you have with other people is the result of that deeper war. When you are losing this war, you live for yourself, and invariably it ends in conflict with your husband or wife." (Paul Tripp, What Did You Expect?, pg. 47)

The recent bout of selfishness that has infected our marriage snuck up on us. Slowly we began waging quiet, subtle turf wars with one another. Eventually, we began to recognize the frightening turn our one-flesh union had taken. We then found ourselves confused as to what on earth had happened to our storybook marriage. God was faithful, however. We cried out to Him, and he is lifting the veil for each of us on how self-oriented we've become as the stresses in our lives have increased.

Now we're on guard. Now we have a clearer understanding of just how likely we are to sin against one another, even after three wonderful, glorious decades. We're not all the way there yet, but our marriage is healing. We are again learning to romance one another. We're also working at treasuring our friendship and protecting it. We're relearning that in order to have a storybook marriage, you must live, "There is no me. There is no mine. There is no mine." (Matt Batterson). A mere six words that are breathing life...beautiful LIFE...back into our marriage. Selfishness out! Death to self in! Only God's way works!

Seven? Already?

When our family was all together for Thanksgiving, we were startled to realize that seven of our twelve children are now adults. Boy, did that sneak up on us! All the clichés about how fast time flies as you parent are just plain true!

Pictured here are (l-r) John (22), Matthew (18), Anna (23), Lissie (22), Sarah (19), Zhenya (20) and Kirsten (19). This incredibly barren couple thanks God for the miracle that each one of these wonderful blessings is to us! Seven! Seven adult children already, and each one of them a dear friend! Aren't we BLESSED?

(Some of the names listed here are different than you've seen on this blog before and until I make the time to make the change, they are also different than the names on the side bar. Now that these kiddos are adults, we'll make the change to their real names. We'd chosen to use blog names for security when they we're children.)

Remember the Chant?

Mrs. Beaver:

I remember jumping rope to this ditty as a little girl:

First comes love...

 ...then comes marriage...

Bet you've guessed it by now--

...then comes B.A.B.Y. in a baby carriage!

We're thrilled to announce that Lissie's is expecting! Eric and Lissie's first child is due September 27, Lord willing, right around their first anniversary. The baby's gender is as of yet unknown.

Lissie is in week 12 and, by God's grace, doing great. Both Eric and Lissie love babies and are filled with joy that the Lord has blessed them with this pregnancy!

Our Budding Rose

Mrs. Beaver:

 

 

Following breakfast, 5-1/2 month old Evelyn Rose's aunties gathered in the nursery to collaborate on her clothing for the day. Then it was Evelyn's turn for a mini photo shoot.

 

 

She started a bit wary eyed...

 

 

...but then began to relax...

 

...and even smile.

 

Next we tried to get some tummy time pictures...

...but that head was just too heavy as morning nap time approached.

Thankfully, just then mommy came to the rescue!

And love called forth the best expression of all!

A Fine Day, Indeed!

Mrs. Beaver:

 

We're visiting Aaron and Anna before going to a wedding this weekend in another part of Ohio. I would have to say that any day that begins with getting to watch your grandchild play with her Duplos while still in her elephant footie pajamas is a fine day indeed!

 

 

 

Thank you, Lord!

Eric and Lissie's Wedding: The Bride and Groom

These photos were taken by professional photographer Lauren La Plante before the wedding just after Eric got his first glimpse of Lissie.

Attending the University of Home

Mrs. Beaver:

"Our homes are the universities where our children learn about the world and how to live. What kind of basic "courses" are we offering them? As Christians we want God to be the core of our curriculum. We want our children to be leaning to know God and relate to Him."

Noel Piper, Treasuring God in Our Traditions

May our children hear us pray.

May they hear us thank God.

May they hear us praise God.

May they hear us revel in God's goodness, wisdom and sovereignty.

May they hear us take responsibility when we wrong someone.

May they hear us read the Bible to them.

May they see humility in us.

May they see brokenness when we sin.

May they see us grow in our likeness to Christ.

May they see us make church a priority.

May they see us die to self.

May they see us ever endeavoring to make our marriage beautiful.

May they see us forgive no matter how deep the wrong.

May they see us honor God.

May they see us lavishly love people.

May they see us trust God.

May they see us seek God. Today. Tomorrow. Always.

O, Lord, help us. The need for our home to be the university in which our children learn to love, trust, and know You is a calling beyond our ability. We are weak. We are selfish. We prefer our comfort and convenience to the necessity to die to self to model walking with You. Please grant grace sufficient to the life-long privilege. May we steward Your children well.

The Bible: Rubber Meets the Road

Mrs. Beaver:

I just started reading Joe Thorn's Note to Self: The Discipline of Preaching to Yourself. Before even reaching the author's words, I've been challenged and convicted by the introduction.

What's your reaction to these strong assertions?

"Good intentions, New Year's resolutions, promises, plans, personal discipline, and rigorous regimens designed to control and direct human choices only go so far. They rarely, if ever, effect a lasting and fruitful change in the soul. It is only when our thoughts are challenged and conformed to the principles of God's Word and our hearts are energized to make choices consistent with God's revealed will that a human being is transformed...

"Merely affirming that the Bible is inspired accomplishes very little. Asserting its authority isn't much better. The inspiration and authority of the Scriptures are of value to us only so far as we change our beliefs to conform to its principles and alter our behavior to coincide with its imperatives. The Bible is meant to govern our lives, to fashion our choices, to challenge our cherished traditions, and ultimately to make us look more like Jesus.

"The question for each of us, then, is whether the Bible actually functions in this way. Do we submit to its dictates? Do we put our confidence in its promises? Do we stop living a certain way in response to its counsel? Do we embrace particular truths on its authority? Do we set aside traditional practices that conflict with its instruction?

"In other words, for the Bible to be of value to us it must actually function to shape how we think, feel, and act, as well as what we believe, value, and teach...

"Through the power of the Holy Spirit, God has invested the biblical text with the capacity to change human lives...

"Let [God's Word] be the anchor for your soul. Let it be the rock on which you stand. Let it be the compass to guide your choices and renew your heart through trials and tragic times. Let it govern your choices and renew your joy and ground your hope. Build your life on its moral principles. Embrace its ethical and moral norms. Believe what it says about the nature of God. Believe what it says about the nature of mankind...

"The word of God, whether it is preached and heard or read and memorized, is more than simply true. It is effectual. The Word of God does more than merely announce: it accomplishes! It doesn't just impart information; it creates life! someone once said, and rightly so, that God speaking is God acting. God's word is always carried along by God's Spirit and empowered to produce what it proclaims...

Therefore, let us, "Crave the Word of God. Be desperate for it! Seek it. Yearn for it. Long for it. Desire it. Tolerate nothing in your life that might diminish your hunger for God's Word. And apply it with vigor and spiritual energy!"
Sam Storms, Senior Pastor, Bridgeway Church, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma