Horses Help Heal Hurting Hearts

Faith was born in Russia. We adopted her at age 5.

She joined our family with a passion for horses already in place. She drew horses. She researched breeds. She wrote stories about horses. Finally when she was about 12, we were able to provide riding lessons for her. The passion within her heart for these majestic beauties simply heated up with each exposure Faith had to one of them.

At age 14 Faith finally reached the age where she could volunteer for the local stable that provides therapeutic horseback riding for those who are disabled. Faith's older sisters, Kirsten and Christina, had each gone before her in volunteering at the stable. The girls helped one evening each week with leading or walking alongside the horses as those noble steeds carried their very special riders around an arena. Eventually the girls were asked to help train the horses on Tuesday mornings. This meant a great deal of riding time. What a sweet gift from our good God!

Another horse blessing was provided by God to our daughters. Unbeknownst to us for years, a barn sits at the bottom of our street hidden from view by the hilly landscape. When our daughter, Kirsten, needed a stable to board her horse, Magic, she called the number on a sign hanging from a corral fence that was visible from the street. It was then that we discovered, how just how close the wonder of horses could be for our family. A stable within walking distance with an indoor arena! Amazing!

This past year, Faith has had the opportunity to develop a strong bond with a horse named Zee. Zee is a former roping champion so she's way out of our price range. However, the owner of the barn who is also Zee's owner, allows Faith to lease Zee. This has been a glorious opportunity for Faith, and she's developed a deep friendship with Zee.

One day late last autumn, Faith helped both girls grow more comfortable around the large, powerful animals. Until that time, both of our youngest girls had felt nervous and tentative near horses.

Faith helped Hope grow confident in leading Zee.

As Faith prepared to saddle Zee, Hope had the role of holding Zee still. This gave our precious 14-year-old the chance to gain confidence in being close to Zee's face. The mare seemed to delight in Hope's delicate stokes.

Faith is so petite (She stands less than 5 feet tall) that I'm not sure how she hoists the heavy saddle onto Zee, but she does it like an old ranch hand.

Once Zee was saddled, Hope rode the gentle horse. Hope was hesitant at first, but with the Faith's encouraging words and ongoing instructions, Hope's confidence grew.

By the end of her time on Zee, Hope was riding like a champion thanks to her sister's kind coaching.

As I took these photos, I was so grateful to Faith for helping Hope surmount a long standing fear.

And I was tickled to see Hope and Zee's friendship begin to blossom.

This was a beautiful afternoon in every respect!

Eliana also got the chance to grow more at ease with the big beast that Zee is. Eliana has loved petting the horses that are boarded at the stable, but there's usually been a fence between her and the horse. This time she stood close as she fed Zee handfuls of grass. Much to Zee's delight!

For Eliana, this afternoon of being bathed in Faith's attention and coaching brought a real breakthrough. She laughed and bathed Zee in kisses, giving up the former nervousness she'd had around horses.

Eliana and Zee became pals that day!

It's one thing to relish a horse for your own pleasure. The world abounds in horse lovers who spend as many hours riding as they're able to work in.

However, on that slightly chilly autumn afternoon, Faith had taken her horsemanship to a new level, a stretching of her heart that would please Christ. She had shared Zee. She'd laid down her own desires for riding time and served her sisters. Her love for her little sisters and her passion for her horse had collided in exquisite wonder.

Update on Christina's Injury (A God Story)

I have left our readers dangling -- a bit like the light bulbs in the photo in my last post. I deeply apologize to those of you who are loyal followers and supporters of our unusual family. And now I'm going to add injury to insult by not even posting a photo of Christina.

Let me just make a promise to post a photo of Tina very soon. However, in a way this photo is almost more fitting. God's glory was on display late this afternoon as I wandered outside to take a few photos of the tail end of a beautiful autumn. God's great grace was also on display in how He healed Christina. Her surgeon prepared us for a rough ride of continued swelling of her internal organs before any healing would begin. And, that was if no complications occurred that would require surgery.

However, God had His own way with Tina's healing. There was no additional swelling. There were no complications. Tina's hospitalization did last five days; it took that long for her to be able to digest food again. She was admitted to the hospital on Thursday night and released the following Tuesday evening. Before she came home, we made a trip to the grocery store to stock up on special foods for her to eat during the long healing process to digestive system. However, Christina came home completely well. Completely healed. Despite the horse's well-aimed kick, she was ready to eat every day food. She was also ready even that night to resume her normal activities. We were nothing short of shocked! How could she be so...so...well? We made her take it easy for a day or two, unable to believe what we were witnessing. However, by Friday of that week Tina had convinced us of God's great grace having made the impossible possible. She was so healthy that she joined her brothers and sisters as they wove they're way through a corn maze that covered 17 acres.

We know that God can always heal, but that He doesn't always choose to do so, or to do so as quickly as we would like. In this case, we're very grateful for the mercy He showed our family in healing her so thoroughly and so quickly.

Update on Christina's Injury

Our deepest thanks to those of you who have been praying since Zhenya posted for Christina. She is pictured here on the right in Moscow five years ago this fall with her two biological sisters, Hope (middle) and Faith.

I will do my best to share more of the startling twist that took place four days ago later today. For now, I'll share a quick update on how 17-year-old Tina is doing since being kicked by a horse four days ago. God has been exceedingly merciful. The kick broke no bones but landed squarely in her abdomen. Remarkably, she's had no internal bleeding. As a However, her internal organs have been enlarged since the trauma. This has caused significant pain for Tina. God has granted her much grace though through the gift of drugs like morphine. She is slowly showing improvement which is ahead of schedule based on the surgeon's original estimate following an MRI. We don't know how much longer she will be hospitalized.

If you happen to be on Instagram, I have been keeping a running "journal" of sorts of this odyssey. You can find me at "barrennomore83".

I continues to amaze our family that anyone follows our blog, but we sure are grateful for your kind support. Thank you again to those who have been praying for Christina! Prayer MATTERS because our God LISTENS! We're so grateful to you! Denise

Happy 21st, Sarah!

Sarah, who has her own cake-baking business, specifically asked to have ice cream instead of cake for her birthday celebration. The Blue Bunny ice cream parlor in LeMars was the perfect setting in which to celebrate her 21st birthday.

We were blessed that our dear friend, Kali Moores (Alison's sister-in-law), was visiting from Boston. We love having her visit her second home... our home!

The evening wasn't just about gifts. It was also a opportunity to enjoy great ice cream and great laughs together.  

We thank God for placing Sarah in our family 14 years ago! We can't imagine life without our sunshine girl.

Love, Joy, and Bubbles

Eliana (11) and Hope (13)

Last summer I shared some "just us" time with our two youngest children. The evening of laughter over the girls' antics with summertime toys was so filled with joy, that I've anticipated repeating the fun for a year. This week that opportunity presented itself. Once again, we had the sweetest time!

God is faithful. God is glorious. God is the Father to the fatherless, and His hand is on the lives of these two who were castaways. Bit-by-bit, He is healing the trauma of their early years. We find that their love of others brightens the lives of everyone in our extra-large family.

Would the Orphan's Dream Come True?

Last week our family made a last minute trip to central Iowa. We'd gotten word about a horse for sale so quickly rescheduled the days events. Then we jumped in our trusty 15-passenger van for an utterly new experience. This adventure was an especially important one to Mr R and me.

You see, years ago the two of us made a promise to a Russian judge. As we went through the final step of actually going to court in Russia in our effort to adopt Kirsten, Nathaniel and Eliana, we endured intense grilling which culminated in an insanely-long deliberation by the judge. Well, okay...we probably only fidgeted on the hard wooden benches for about an hour -- it just SEEMED like forever! The judge who had intimidated us for two days from his high perch on the dais had our hearts in his hands. Many months earlier we had visited Moscow with a group of fellow Americans interested in providing homes for fatherless children living in orphanages. On that trip, we'd not only felt the Lord's calling to add Nathaniel (10) and Eliana (5) to our family. Much to our surprise, we'd also fallen in love with a 15-year-old beauty with a kind heart and a quirky sense of humor. Since then we'd spent months jumping through hoops put in place on both the American and Russian sides trying to turn the three kiddos -- who had grown up in the same orphanage -- into our children.

When the judge returned after his deliberation, he made it clear -- through our interpreter -- that his agreement to the Kirsten's adoption came with a condition. He looked us steadily in the eye. We held our breath not knowing what would come next. The judge then told us that we must ensure that Kirsten would get the opportunity to interact with horses. During her testimony in court, the judge had asked her about her dreams and goals, and he was determined that her new parents would see to the nourishment of this orphan's aspirations. We didn't know how we would keep our word to the judge. Horses had never been on our family's radar. Even so, we breathed a sigh of relief. All along the arduous path to adopting this teenager, God had been leading. He had been ever faithful when we when we repeatedly ran full force into the inevitable roadblocks that seem to be part of international adoption. So the two of us held hands and meekly nodded our agreement to the judge's condition.

In the four years since that adoption took place, the Lord has opened doors left and right for our horse lover. And, as it turns out, Kirsten isn't alone in her passion. Her sisters, Christina (17) and Faith (15), share her love of all things equine. The three sisters have bonded tightly as close friends through this shared interest. They've taken riding lessons together and volunteered at a nearby ranch that offers therapeutic riding for children with disabilities or delays.

A little over a year ago Kirsten graduated from high school. She did so with a dream in her heart. She longed to become a horse trainer. Last summer she was blessed to work as an intern on a dude ranch. She got in numberless hours of horse riding. She even learned how to heard cattle. Then in the fall Kirsten made a move to Ohio, living with Aaron and Anna for a few months. The Lord opened a door again, and she found a job she loved. She worked as a stable hand at a facility that is home to more than 40 horses, many of them trained to show.

Now Kirsten is back home and ready for the next step in this journey. She hopes to learn the Pat Parelli natural horsemanship training method. Before Kirsten can attend the school in the Colorado mountains, she has to be able to demonstrate that she has reached a number of milestones in training a horse. In order to do this, Kirsten needed a horse to train. Our dream as parents is to be able to help each of our children with a portion of the cost of their post high school education. For Kirsten, this meant we would help her buy a horse. Thus, our four-hour drive into the heart of Iowa last week.

Kirsten heard about a horse named Magic through Brittany, a friend she'd made while volunteering at the therapeutic horseback riding stable. Brittany is thoroughly connected in the horse world in the upper Midwest. With that knowledge, she enjoys playing "matchmaker" -- helping prospective horse owners find just the right animal. The looming question as we drove was would there be a fit between our daughter and this particular animal. 

When we arrived at the stable, Kirsten approached Magic somewhat tentatively. She was studying him carefully to see what traits he would exhibit. She was reading the three-year-old's body language.

While Kirsten was watching the horse, I was watching her. It wasn't long before her expression change. Her look of hesitation changed to a cautious smile, and I knew we were watching something magical happen between a former orphan and a dark chocolate horse sporting a braided mane for the special day.

A few minutes into Kirsten's contemplation, Magic's owner, John, offered to show her Magic's level of training.

He had Magic mount this "bridge" to demonstrate that Magic doesn't spook easily. Next, John mounted Magic and rode him around the arena. Our girls who are now walking encyclopedia's of horse knowledge had told us ahead of time that seeing the owner ride the horse he's trying to sell is crucial. After all, if the owner is unwilling to ride the horse, there's a good chance the animal has "issues".

Now it was Kirsten's chance to ride.

Her siblings watched with interest. Faith recorded the entire ride on Kirsten's phone for her.

While all this was going on, Kirsten's Dad and I were in the background praying without ceasing. We still know so little about horses that we were completely dependent on God to give the wisdom to know if this was THE horse. We felt a wonderful peace despite the major expense we were contemplating making. God leads and guides those understand their dependence on Him. He is faithful to help those who cry out to Him.

Kirsten dismounted and did some more thinking and praying.

And then the came the smile that told us it was time for her daddy to do some negotiating! Over the course of more than four years, God had led us baby step by baby step to this momentous occasion.

As Mr. R and John talked, I just couldn't help thinking back to that Russian court room. I couldn't help wishing that the judge could have been with us to see the orphaned child who lived without hope become a horse owner, by God's grace. Somehow I think that the stoic countenance he presented throughout the adoption hearing would  have been replaced by a grin as wide as Kirsten's.

God abounds in lovingkindness!

He Proposed with a Frisbee, Part 3

When we last left the story of Josh and Zhenya's engagement, Josh was eager to propose. His hope was that the two families would strike up a game of Ultimate Frisbee, a fellowship staple of the group. That way Josh could carry out his plan to toss Zhenya the custom Frisbee he'd had made with the words printed on it, "Will You Marry Me?".

However, Zhenya had wandered to the far reaches of the enormous park to hunt for Crawfish with Josh's little brother. I'm certain that Josh wasn't surprised by her reason for leaving the group. Zhenya's love of children and dedication to their interests is one of the traits he's found attractive in her. Still, I'm not sure how Josh was able to endure the wait for her to return from the other side of the park; I was certainly struggling with my desire for him to have the opportunity to "pop the question". So much was riding on a Frisbee toss!

Finally, Zhenya began to meander back toward the rest of the group. At this point Josh's mom got creative and manufactured an excuse for Josh to slip away from the group to go get the customized Frisbee he had hidden in the car.

While Josh was away, Zhenya arrived at the picnic shelter. At this point, her dad did some quick thinking. He knew if she saw Josh from a distance she would want to find out what he was up to before Josh could get in position to toss her the Frisbee. Thus, Zhenya's dad intervened and asked her to help him practice his dance steps. She apparently didn't think this too strange because her dad and I had just taken a dance lesson. Zhenya knew we were still trying to grasp the steps we'd learned, and we were practicing on anyone who got near enough.

Honestly, I'm surprised that these photos of Zhenya and her daddy are in focus. I'm just certain that I was shaking by this time! I KNEW Josh had gone to get THE Frisbee. I KNEW he was JUST ABOUT to propose to our precious Zhenya. And, as I heard his footfall on the gravel path heading away from the picnic shelter, I was suddenly transported to the dusty grounds of a large orphanage in western Russia...

...where we first met Zhenya and two of her siblings, Sarah and Matt. 

I was recalling the weed-filled field dotted with a few pieces of broken-down equipment that served as the playground for about 300 children.

And I was also remembering a precious eight-year-old little girl who looked and acted like a little boy. She could beat the boys at any sport they wanted to play.

Since the day we met Zhenya in 2001, we realized that she was a stalwart tomboy. And, the way she carried herself was very understandable. The little fatherless eight-year-old had grown tough in order to simply survive. Before she was taken from her alcoholic mother's care, Zhenya would repeatedly watch her mom's boyfriends come to their house and get drunk. They would then beat her mother as Zhenya and her siblings watched. Zhenya witnessed her father try to commit suicide. She also lived with Sarah and Matt under a bridge at times when their mother would disappear for weeks at a time and the landlord would kick the children out. Is it any wonder that before even reaching the age of nine, Zhenya had surrendered her femininity and carried herself like one of the guys on the orphanage playground?

When we adopted her, we honestly weren't sure if she would grow up to embrace what God had created her to be -- a beautiful woman. After all, that adoption 14 years ago was truly just a giant leap of faith. We had no prior experience that informed us how older-children placed in a family through adoption would turn out. When we took the step to enlarge our family in this way, we didn't know another soul who had taken a similar step. We couldn't begin to realized that an international orphan-care movement was just about to take shape as Christians around the globe stepped up to care for the least of these.

As it turns out, Mr. R and I have had the great joy and privilege of watching God mold and heal Zhenya in so many ways. Oh, she remains wonderfully athletic! Zhenya could still give NFL quarterbacks a run for their money! And she's still willing to take risks and try new challenges. At the same time, Zhenya has grown into a woman who gladly embraces being female. And, our godly daughter is eager to take on the roles of wife and mother. Our God is great. Nothing is impossible for Him!

This review of the past 14 years was racing through my mind as Josh hurried to the family's van to retrieve his tool for proposing. As I heard his returning steps, my heart overflowed with joy! All I could think was, "By God's grace, she's ready! Zhenya is ready to be a godly wife! God has molded her into a masterpiece perfect for this young man we've come to love and admire! God is soooo good!"

I apologize, but I didn't manage to capture a photo of Josh tossing THE Frisbee to her. Even though I KNEW what was going to happen, I wan't composed enough to capture the throw with my camera. I'm afraid I was just recovering from my flashback to Russia.

What happened was this: Josh tossed Zhenya the Frisbee and without a glance at its top, she threw it right back to him. Josh was unable to bear the wait any longer so he took matters into his own hands. When he caught the Frisbee, he tipped it's surface toward her so that she would notice it wasn't the Frisbee they normally played with. Then, he tossed right back to her.

Before she could even comprehend the Frisbee's words, "Will You Marry Me?", Josh was at her feet and had dropped to one knee.

As both families watched, he produced a jeweler's box and flipped it open as he said to her, "Zhenya, the past eight months have been the best of my life. I can't imagine the rest of my life without you at my side. Will you marry me?"

Our beaming daughter managed a weak shake of her head and whispered a delighted, "YES!"

At this point Josh's joy simply overflowed. He jumped to his feet and swung Zhenya round and round...

...all the while still clasping the ring.

Eventually, he remembered that there was yet another step to this proposing thing.

He removed the ring from it's padded nest. He slid it onto the same finger as the purity ring she'd received from her Dad and me about nine years earlier. She'd kept herself pure for this very moment, for this very man!

I love Josh's very satisfied look in this photo...

...and this one.

The newly-engaged couple then remembered that they were surrounded by loved ones, the hugs began. All of the siblings were in shock with one exception.

Rachel had known ahead of time. And, she'd been a great secret keeper!

When Zhenya and Rachel reached each other, their embrace told the story of very close friends who would now become sisters.

Hope's hug came with tears.

Hope's oldest sisters, Anna and Alison, have already married and moved away. She understood immediately that this wonderful news for Zhenya would result in yet another round of grief as she would have to let go of the day-to-day relationship she has enjoyed with Zhenya during her growing-years . Zhenya patiently and compassionately held Hope until her sobs had subsided.

After several rounds of happy hugs, Mr. Reynolds delivered some happy news to the couple. With the change in status change from a courting couple to an engaged one, they could now hold hands. When their courtship began, the two sets of parents had requested that they refrain from physical contact. We asked this of the two of them so that any bond they built would be one of hearts and souls melding together. We didn't want them to mistake physical attraction for a love that could go the distance in the ups and downs of a marriage.

This then is that very first hand hold.

As Josh was happily gripping Zhenya's hand, he asked, "Can I also put my arm around her?". He got a "yes", and I snapped this photo as he slipped his arm around her for the first time. With God's enabling grace, the duo plans to wait to kiss until they are married on Labor Day weekend in early September. They begged both sets of parents for a short engagement because they know the wait to become one flesh will be a difficult one.

After a celebratory iced coffee at the local coffee shop we'd found the day before, both families headed back to the Castille's home.

Later that afternoon, I found Josh and Zhenya on the screened porch swing. Despite having JUST gotten engaged, their hearts--and laps--were open to three of Josh's siblings. When this scene caught my eye, it seemed almost prophetic. Josh and Zhenya both love children and are eager to fill their home with them. Lord willing, someday their laps will be filled yet again but this time with their own kiddos.

And, perhaps, some of their children will also be older adoptees like Zhenya once was...neglected or abused children in need of both love and the great good news of the gospel. We know of no couple better equipped and better experienced in what it means to really love the least of these.

 Our God heals!