Courtship: Josh and Zhenya's Engagement {almost}

If you've been eagerly looking forward to the details of Josh and Zhenya getting engaged (hmm...I just let the cat out of the bag), I'm going to ask you to wait just bit longer. Trust me, a bit of the back story is important.

One of the most crucial aspects of courtship as our family has come to define it is the involvement of the couple's families. I can elaborate more later, but for now I'll just say that one of the strengths of courting rather than dating is that those who know you best (your parents and brothers and sisters) get to know the person with whom you are courting. That way, they (especially the parents) are able to offer you wise counsel as you move toward the most critical decision of your life -- your choice for a husband or wife. The family is also the group most likely to consistently pray for you as you travel the path of courtship seeking God's leading.

Last week we traveled to rural Tennessee (about a 16 hour drive) to spend time with the entire Castille family at their home. Although Zhenya had been there repeatedly, this was our first visit. Their hospitality was worthy of the reputation of Southerners ~ gracious, generous and thoughtful.

As soon as we arrived in the late afternoon, joy rang out and the laughter began. Kirsten has her back to the camera here but has obviously said something that Zhenya (on the left) and her soon-to-be sister-in-law, Rachel, found very funny. (If you reread that sentence you'll notice that I've just confirmed the BIG NEWS in our family. This happy mother is hopeless!) Rachel and Zhenya were fast friends before Josh and Zhenya started courting.

The April evening was exquisite. So after dinner, the two families went for a stroll down the Castille's long driveway. The Reynolds were introduced to a family member who isn't allowed in the house. It was love at first sight for me as I stared into Loretta's deep brown eyes. Loretta provides the family's milk. Each morning while we were in Tennessee, our daughter Kirsten rose extra early so that she could milk Loretta. This opportunity was soul-satisfying to Kirsten because it harkened back to her childhood in Russia prior to her adoption. Kirsten learned to milk her grandmother's cow on the small plot of land her grandmother farmed. This was before her grandmother went into a diabetic coma and Kirsten had to be placed in an orphanage at age 11.

The morning after our family arrived in Tennessee, we loaded up the vans and traveled to nearby Bell Buckle to spend the day. Here Sarah (in purple) and Eliana (in pink) crowd a bench in the picturesque small historic town with Josh's three sisters. Our Sarah's is holding "C", who was adopted from Russia as a toddler. Little "I", sitting in Rachel's lap, was added to the family through a domestic adoption just after the wedding of Josh's brother, Sean, and his wife, Beka. Josh and Zhenya first met at that very wedding.

Once we'd gathered in Bell Buckle, we set about antiquing. This was a new past time for our family. We all gravitated toward bits of the past that we found interesting. Here Hope is admiring jewelry of days long gone.

Everyone found something to amuse themselves.

For Matt, this was holding Sean and Beka's daughter, "S", after the two of them joined us.

My favorite find of the day was this chair. As a wedding photographer, I would have loved to bring it home for bridal shoots. I'm afraid though that we would have all been a bit tight on the trip home even though we drive a 15-passenger-van. Thus, I left the chair of my dreams right there in Bell Buckle, Tennessee.

With wonderful window light pouring into one of the shops we visited I was able to snatch this close-up of sisters Sarah and Zhenya. Sarah will serve as Zhenya's maid-of-honor. (Oops. There I go leaking information again about JOSH AND ZHENYA'S ENGAGEMENT. Teehee!)

Eliana enjoyed roaming the rambling antique dealers with Josh's younger siblings.

Meanwhile, Hope found a favorite hat. Somehow it reminded me of her Russian heritage.

Our second antique store destination had just opened a tea shop in the back.

The treats looked out-of-this-world delectable. Thankfully, lunch was just around the corner...or across the street in this case.

Mr. R and I had taken our own sweet time eyeing those tantalizing goodies...

...but when we caught up we found this wonderful gang waiting to be seated in the Bell Buckle Cafe. (That's Josh's father, Jamie, at the far end.)

While Josh's dad waited with the hungry group, Josh's mom, Linda, slipped into the shop next door and stumbled upon quite a find...

...perfectly pink boots for the littlest cowgirl in the family!

When Zhenya joins the Castille family (ugh...I slipped again!), these two handsome guys, who were adopted from Russia as toddlers just like little "C", will become her brothers. Zhenya will have three additional siblings from Russia! Isn't God so kind to have arranged that our oldest Russian adoptee would be marrying into a family that's filled with children who've been adopted?

As a result of repeated trips to the Castille's during her courtship, Zhenya already has a deep love for each of Josh's younger siblings.

Rachel also dotes on her younger siblings and she has developed a powerful love of the Russian people.

After lunch we continued our relaxed meanderings and made our way to the local coffee shop. It was a cute as could be, inside...

...and out. Kirsten and Matt enjoyed a laugh while the rest waited for their drinks.

You would think that by now we might have grown weary of this culinary adventure, but not so fast. We still need a taste of the local ice cream!

In keeping with beauty of this old town, the ice cream was served up through what used to be teller windows in a bank 100 years ago!

While the ice cream was being piled high on cones, more fun was had by our girls with some recycled hats for sale in the eatery.

Such silliness!

We enjoyed the ice cream on benches outside the shop, relishing a cool April breeze.

A tired toddler was kept happy as her daddy fed her spoonfuls of creamy peach ice cream.

What a beautiful day of loving Christian fellowship we'd had in an idyllic setting. We headed home mid afternoon to make sure we were there when Josh got off work. The four parents knew we'd be returning the next day for an unusual picnic in the town's park. The light was green. This particular picnic would include a very creative marriage proposal...stay tuned!

God abounds in lovingkindness!

A 14-Year Journey: From Russia to Zambia

Denise Reynolds:

My silly man photo bombing my efforts to capture
Sarah departing home to work in an orphanage in Africa 

Tomorrow my beloved husband's reason for being in Africa will come to an end. Mr. R's mission in Zambia will be complete. He'll watch and wave as a bus carrying Sarah departs the capital of Zambia, for an rural region 17 hours north. He told me today when we talked via Face Time that he knows he will weep as he watches that bus pull away.

Those words are hard for a wife to hear from her big, strong man. And yet, I'm full of peace knowing that his tears will be a salty mixture of grief and joy. Both of us are shedding tears of sorrow this week borne of our deep feelings for Sarah. Of, course we love her...we're her parents and that's what parents do. However, we also really like Sarah. She is a wonderfully giving young woman whose love of Jesus shines from her face day in and day out. We will miss this special light in our home. We're grieving the mere thought of her being nearly 8,000 miles away. We will miss her.

At the same time, we're also weeping tears of joy as we say our good-byes. You see, we've been on a 14-year journey with this precious girl. It was in late 2000 that the Lord began to nudge each of our hearts independently. His prod? Older children in Russian orphanages needed homes.

That nudge took us into an arena we'd never planned to enter ~ the heart-rending theater of the world's neediest. Honestly, we entered the arena of orphan care dragging our feet. We were SCARED. We didn't know anyone who had done something this...radical. We wondered, "Are we crazy? We already have the perfect family." However, we couldn't deny the need. World-wide 143,000,000 children were fatherless.

In the end, we decided to adopt one Russian child between the ages of five and eight. Then we read, "Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. For if one of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up. Furthermore, if two lie down together they keep warm, but how can one be warm alone?" (Ecclesiastes 4:9-11) We knew the Lord was leading us to add a brother and sister. But as it turned out, that wasn't His plan either. When we finished the required home study, our adoption agency told us they had the perfect children for us. There was just one catch. There were three of them.

Double our children from three to six? Surely this was just to much for God to ask. We wrestled and prayed and wrestled some more until we turned to looked at the cross. Jesus died for our sins. He gave up His life that we might have eternal life. Could we do less than our Saviour had done? It was time to surrender our plans. It was time to deny self and take up our cross. We told our agency yes, we'd adopt the two sisters and their little brother.

On the first day that international flights returned to service following 9/11, we were in the air. We were about to become parents to three kiddos who didn't speak a word of our language, three children who'd only known abuse and neglect. But God had said feed my lambs. So we went, whispering, "We love you, King Jesus. We'd do anything for You. Even this. Oh, help us pleeeease, God!"

With the thud of a gavel in a Russian court room, Zhenya, Sarah and Matthew, ages eight, seven, and five, became our forever children. And thus began our day in and day out care for Sarah that will culminate tomorrow in her launching out on her own in Africa.

When we came to the conclusion 14 years ago that it was up to us to care for the orphans the Lord would put in front of us, Mr. R and I didn't enter the orphan care arena to simply provide food, clothing and shelter. We chose to adopt because we had a story to tell. We wanted to share the best news in human history ~ Jesus' life and death and resurrection ~ with kids whose life in an orphanage was likely to keep them from ever hearing the great good news of God's gift of redemption and salvation.

We also had a dream. Our hearts' cry was that some day these former orphans would want to tell others about Jesus' love, about His free gift of saving grace. So Sarah's trip to work in an orphanage in Africa didn't really begin last week. It is a journey that began nearly 14 years ago. And we send her off into rural Zambia with tears of joy. Because this former orphan wants to tell orphaned children about Jesus.

Sarah's Russian name (now her middle name) is Svetlana, which means light.

God is so good.

Diary of a Maine Sunset

Denise:

"I shall make mention of the lovingkindnesses of the Lord..." Isaiah 63:7a

Jim and I continue to relish our week-long celebration of God's goodness in granting us 30 years together. Tonight the Lord gave us the sweetest gift tonight ~ a spectacular sunset.

Just as we finished dinner, we realized that something very special was about to take place to the west. We left the dishes as they were and dashed to the property's dock. We sat hand-in-hand on the dock in the slight chill of a late September evening, watching as the heavens declared the glory of God.

Once the sun dropped below the horizon, the sky was painted every shade of orange.

Until at last the evening purple of the Atlantic stood in stark contrast to the rich curtain of color adorning the heavens.

As darkness began to replace the unrivaled fireworks we'd been privileged to witness. We readied ourselves to climb the staircase to our temporary home.

When we reached the top, we stole a final glimpse of a sunset neither of us will soon forget.

Thank You, Lord.

"I  shall make mention of the lovingkindnesses of the Lord,

the praises of the Lord,

According to all that the Lord has granted us,

And the great goodness toward the house of Israel,

Which He has granted them according to His compassion

And according to the abundance of His lovingkindnesses."

Isaiah 63:7

The Most Important Meeting of Your Life

Jim:

 

Denise and I are in Maine celebrating God's goodness in giving us three decades together!

While we are here, we are immersing ourselves in God's word as well as a variety of other books, including a powerful book about marriage called You and Me Forever – Marriage in Light of Eternity, by Francis & Lisa Chan. We have just cracked it open and are already excited to see how God will grow our love of Him and our love for each other as we read together.

Even though we’ve just started the book, I feel compelled to share something important that Francis shares right up front… and it applies to far more than just marriage. Specifically, Pastor Chan reminds us vividly that our relationship with God and our eternal destiny is the only foundation on which to build a healthy marriage (or a healthy life, in general). He says,

“FEAR GOD. I’m guessing those are two words you didn’t expect to read in a marriage book. But nothing could be more foundational for marriage. Without a healthy fear of God, we will not fully enjoy life and love. Without it, our priorities will be completely off. Yet if a healthy fear of God is at the foundation of who we are, a beautiful life and marriage can be built upon this.”

He goes on to say that most people underestimate how terrifying it will be to see God. And yet, the examples we find of people in Scripture who have had the experience should get our attention:

• Job came face-to-face with God after complaining about how God had been treating him and said: “I have heard of You by the hearing of the ear; but now my eye sees You; therefore I retract, and I repent in dust and ashes.” ~ Job 42:5-6
• Isaiah saw the Lord in His throne room in a vision and was sure he was doomed because of his unworthiness:  “And the foundations of the thresholds trembled at the voice of him who called out, while the temple was filling with smoke. Then I said, ‘Woe is me, for I am ruined! Because I am a man of unclean lips; for my eyes have seen the King, the Lord of hosts.’" ~ Isaiah 6:4-5
• John encountered the risen Christ in a vision and said: “When I saw Him, I fell at His feet like a dead man. And He placed His right hand on me, saying, ‘Do not be afraid; I am the first and the last, and the living One; and I was dead, and behold, I am alive forevermore, and I have the keys of death and of Hades.’” ~ Rev 1:17-18
• And Jesus said: “Do not fear those who kill the body but are unable to kill the soul; but rather fear Him who is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.” ~ Matt 10:28

Pastor Chan goes on to encourage us to frequently contemplate meeting God face-to-face, consciously preparing for the day that will matter for all eternity!

“Oddly, I meet very few people who think about that moment. Is it because we don’t really believe it’s going to happen? We think about upcoming vacations and imagine how much fun we will have. We think about upcoming trials and worry about how difficult they will be. Why don’t we think about seeing God for the first time? I try to think about it often because it keeps me centered.”

Further, he insists that we must lift our eyes off of self and stare at God. We must stop focusing on our transient life on earth and contemplate what our eternity will be like. He rightly points out:

“If we don’t stare at God, we’ll spend our time staring at lesser things. Namely, ourselves. When we focus on ourselves, we naturally begin to structure every aspect of our lives around the few years we have here on earth, rather than the millions of years we will spend in His presence… or out of His presence. We live as if we are not dying. We live as though the King is not returning!”

But He is returning! And Scripture is clear that His return should inspire awe and reverence in His children, not to mention abject fear in His enemies. Notice that both Old and New Testament passages convey the same terrifying image of God's judgment:

“The pride of man will be humbled and the loftiness of men will be abased; and the Lord alone will be exalted in that day, but the idols will completely vanish. Men will go into caves of the rocks and into holes of the ground before the terror of the Lord and the splendor of His majesty, when He arises to make the earth tremble. In that day men will cast away to the moles and the bats their idols of silver and their idols of gold, which they made for themselves to worship, in order to go into the caverns of the rocks and the clefts of the cliffs before the terror of the Lord and the splendor of His majesty, when He arises to make the earth tremble. Stop regarding man, whose breath of life is in his nostrils; for why should he be esteemed?” ~ Is 2:17-22

“Then the kings of the earth and the great men and the commanders and the rich and the strong and every slave and free man hid themselves in the caves and among the rocks of the mountains; and they said to the mountains and to the rocks, ‘Fall on us and hide us from the presence of Him who sits on the throne, and from the wrath of the Lamb; for the great day of their wrath has come, and who is able to stand?’” ~ Rev 6:15-17

In closing, I need to admit that Pastor Chan’s admonitions hit too close to home. I spend entirely too much time chasing counterfeits like wealth, pleasure, respect and esteem of others instead of intimacy with Him. I need to lift my eyes to heaven and stare at God. I need to spend time and energy contemplating life from the perspective of eternity. I need to proactively prepare to meet my Maker. I want the most important meeting of my life to be filled with awe, reverence and blessing... not terror.

How do you want that meeting to go for you?

Every Good Thing Comes from Above ~ Family Reunion!

Much missed and sadly missing from this photo is our beloved daughter, Kirsten (19), who was unable to get away from her internship

(from the left) The Nix family ~ Our oldest daughter, Anna, with husband, Aaron, and daughters, Brielle (2) and Evelyn (1); Denise and Jim; John (22), Sarah (20); Nathaniel (15), Christina (16), Faith (14), Hope (12), Zhenya (21) Eliana (10), Matthew (19); and the Moores family ~ Alison, Eric and Baby Boy

Evelyn the Adventurer

In June I was blessed to be able to visit our oldest daughter, Anna, and her husband, Aaron. When the Lord gives me the great blessing of one of these trips to see our married girls, I try to take one of our older children who is still living at home with me. That way that kiddo and I get some one-on-one time. This also gives that child the chance for some time alone with his or her oldest sister. While Jim and I are constantly amazed at the many benefits of being a super-sized family, we also realize that one of the dangers of being part of a large family is getting lost in the crowd.

This time it was Christina's turn to travel with mom. Not only did she love getting some sister-time in with Anna, Christina thoroughly enjoyed having her two nieces to herself. Both Brielle and Evelyn (pictured here) seemed to delight in getting some "Auntie Tina" time.

On one of the days during our visit we visited a large local park for a lunch picnic and some playtime on the play ground. Brielle, who had just turned two a couple of weeks earlier, ate her first-ever sub. The very small "children's size" sandwich looked so big in her bitty toddler hands.

After hungrily making quick work of the big lunch, my favorite two-year-old was off to conquer the play equipment. We were surprised to find ourselves alone on a beautiful day, but that meant Brielle could climb to her heart's content.

The photo above has quickly become a favorite of mine. The Lord allowed me to capture my oldest grandchild in all her glorious toddlerness (Yes, I just made up that word!)...chubby hands, rolls around her wrists, tiny feet, wispy-wavy hair, fair skin and pink, chubby cheeks. Ahhhh...our Creator is beyond amazing!

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Last summer Brielle was too young to truly understand the magic of a playground, but this summer every ladder and slide is her delight. She slid down slide after slide as her mama and sister watched.

As a younger sister, Evelyn, wasn't content to just watch. Though she was a couple of months from turning one, she wanted to try whatever her sister was doing...and she was fearless.

Evelyn wasn't content just to try out the slides. Even though she wasn't yet walking independently she was determined to make the ascent up the slide. Anna, Christina and I thought this little one would quickly tire and give up. Boy, were we wrong!

The 10-month-old took stock of her goal and started the arduous climb. (The photo above is also now one of my favorites. I just love Evelyn's happy look of determination.)

Although it's hard to see Anna's hand in these photos, Evelyn's mama was keeping very close in case Evelyn's strength flagged.

We were stunned when Evelyn reached her goal.

Evelyn's adventures weren't over, however.

Once she'd climbed the slide, she wanted to do it again...

...and again and again...

...and again. Before she ran out of spunk, Evelyn had made the steep ascent SIX times! Who knew a baby could accomplish such a feat!!!

The little slide-climber was so exhausted she fell asleep sitting up in Auntie Tina's arms while drinking her bottle.

All this time Brielle had also been busy. Both little girls were ready for their much-needed afternoon naps...

...so we headed for home after a magical trip to the park.