Sister Love

Eric and Alison's first child, William, at about 18 hours old. He's being loved on by his Auntie Anna, Alison's older sister. Anna flew to New England from Ohio to help the new parents make the tremendous adjustment to adding their first new family member. Anna's husband, Aaron, was remarkably kind in giving our family the "gift of Anna" on this landmark occasion. He took four days off from work to stay home and watch their one- and two-year-old daughters.

Remembering as We Look Forward

Mrs. Beaver...

In some ways we're at a daunting point in the adoption process. We're close...oh-so close...to adding new children to our family. Being close is wonderful, something prayed for and worked toward for a long time. And, yet, while close is wonderful, there's also an element of the nearness that could easily promote a descent into anxiety. After all, we're close to adding new members to the family. Everything will change. Some of the changes...okay...many of the changes will be hard.

Today, however, the Lord has helped me to remember. He's helped me to remember that bringing children into a family brings amazing rewards. This photo taken two years ago on our first full day together as a family shouts to my heart, "THE HARD IS WORTH IT!"

Just look at the pure joy on these brand-new sisters' faces as our family explored the streets of Moscow. Anna (left) and Lissie (right) had been stretched outside of their comfort zone as God added a teenager to our number. Yet their faces radiate with the pleasure of doing something that is pleasing to the Father. And Daria? Her countenance beams with the soul-deep satisfaction of inclusion. For the first time, she had siblings. Isn't God good? The hard is worth it! Jesus is worth it! Adoption has been and is good for our family. In fact, I love our life and our calling! Russia here we come!

A Sister's Point of View

Mrs. Beaver:

Lissie being mobbed by the fatherless as she gets out PlayDoh we brought as gifts

 

We're back home after an exceedingly blessed trip. I'll try to post more very soon, but for now here is a link to Lissie's take on the experience of meeting future siblings while they're still in an orphanage: Meeting My Siblings.

Shakespeare Lied

Mrs. Beaver:

In one of his plays William Shakespeare crafted the line we've all heard many times, "Parting is such sweet sorrow." What sounds great in poetry just isn't true to life in this case. Parting is just plain hard. This morning Amy was grieveing the impending departure of her sister, Lissie, to the other side of the world. Lissie held her but, of course, couldn't sweep away the reason for our 10-year-old's pain.

A Kid's Dream Come True!

Mrs. Beaver:

After a nearly winter-less winter, northeastern Iowa finally got snow today. Many thankful children in our home, watched eagerly in the early afternoon as the white precipitation flew sideways.

I took these photos during the time each afternoon when I read aloud to our youngest four children.

I wasn't surprised to see Oksana's happy countenance as she watched the snow fall. If EVER there was a child who loves sledding, it is Oksana!

While his sisters watched the weather, Alexander was more interested in his Legos.

Although Alexander hadn't shown much interest in watching the snow, he was more than eager to play in it. By late afternoon, the wind had calmed enough for those who've waited all winter for snow play to go out.

Homeschoolers don't usually take snow days. While traditionally-schooled children get time off for weather, we just keep pluggin' away. But tomorrow I'm calling a snow day around here. What fell today is the wet, sticky kind of snow that is a kid's dream--perfect for fort building, snow angels, snowball fights and the crafting of snow men.

I better get the hot chocolate ready!

Day 3 as a Family (11/18/10) - (Part 1)

Mr. Beaver:

Flashback! This post goes back to our time in Russia. Already the memories of our time together there have begun to fade, so we're going to try to capture the rest of our days in Moscow together while we still can.

Our third day as a family in Moscow was just as full as the rest. The 'events' of the day really fell into two camps: (1) the growth of relationships and knowledge of our new children, and (2) the day's activities. Obviously, the former was the real focus; the latter was merely a vehicle for the relationship building. Part 1 of the retelling of our wonderful "Red Square Day" will primarily recount the relationship progress we saw.

We started to get to know each other more fully, building new family relationships which is both fun and faith-stretching. It is a truly wondrous experience to uncover those special character traits that make each of our new children who they are. And we have to keep reminding ourselves that they are also uncovering our character traits at the same time. We pray that they would see Christ in us as they get to know us better. Anything else would dishonor our Lord and obstruct their view of His glory. Please join us in praying that our 'natural' selves would be mostly subdued under the dominion of grace throughout this process.

This day, as we toured her country's most famous sights, we saw in 15-year-old Daria twinges of sadness as she began to really grasp the imminent change she would face leaving the country of her birth.

St. Basil's Cathedral at one end of Red Square

The Resurrection Gates at the other end of Red Square

Daria had started to realize the magnitude of leaving behind her country and culture. However, while we saw moments of sadness, we also were privileged to witness her joy at the prospect of having the family she had never had before. We've probably mentioned it before, but Daria was an only child before joining our family. She'd never had a even a single sibling. What a change--sisters who desperately want to be your friends, and brothers, growing into men, who feel a desire to be your friend and help your dad in protecting you!

We were especially graified to see the blossoming of Daria's friendships with Tessa and Lissie because the three of them were due to be roommates when we reached American soil in just a few days.

Daria and Tessa

Lissie and Daria

This day we also started to see Daria's strong sense of humor emerge across the language barrier.

In this photo, Daria had instructed Tessa to pretend they were Russian fashion models. She and her sisters had caught a bit of a fashion show on the TV in their flat the night before and had apparently erupted into the giggles over how the women strutted down the runway with such severe countenances.

Here Tessa failed in her effort to imitate a smile-less Russian fashion diva given her new sister's antics.

This day we also experienced the disappointment you might expect when we had to say 'no' for the first time to one of Daria's requests (more about this later). Nevertheless, it was a blessed day of getting to know our new 15-year-old daughter. We thank God for Daria and for the opportunity to live the gospel before her. Please pray that we would honor our Lord in all our interactions with her.

Alexander continued to emerge as the 'funny-man' and family entertainer. He is very, very smart and has an infectious grin with a sense of humor that transcends the language barrier. He has a magnetic personality and is a real hit with both brothers and sisters alike. Like all of us, he also has character traits of the 'natural' man that will need training, as he has a tendency to be quite certain of himself, even when wrong. All-in-all we're so blessed to have Alexander as our new son.

Oksana remained very much a Daddy's-girl through the family's first couple of days together. Our relationship had a head start due to our extra time together before the rest of the family arrived.

On this third day we started trying to wean Oksana from complete dependence on me. We hoped that she would begin to build relationships with the rest of the family. We encouraged her to let others show her physical affection. Thankfully, she was quite open to our desire for her to spend time with other family members.

Oksana and Lissie

Speedy and Oksana

Princess Bink and Oksana

Oksana needed and will continue to need lots of hugs and attention, which is understandable given her background, but she has been generally cooperative with whatever we ask of her. And she has been a real trooper! I think we must have walked about 25 miles with her in Moscow, and she never once complained about it! She has already demonstrated that she is bright, and, with the healing of the Great Physician that we have witnessed repeatedly in our previous adoptions, we expect she will be able to catch up on any developmental deficiencies that have resulted from the severe neglect she experienced early in her life.

As we said, this first post about Day 3 as a family focuses primarily on our interactions with each other. Part 2 will focus more on the amazing sights we were blessed to see.

You Can Learn Something New Every Day If...You Watch Your Dog?



Our Beautiful Sunshine!



I’ve recently learned some helpful lessons from the behavior of my family’s new dog, Sunshine, that can be applied to the way I view and treat my new siblings. (My parents are going to court on October 26 to adopt three more children!) As I’ve watched her behavior, I’ve noticed that she needs extra understanding from my family and me because she is new to our family rules and because she is a naturally energetic puppy. Also, she and Poochita, our other dog, have a rocky relationship because of miscommunication. After observing these lessons in Sunshine, I will hopefully be better equipped to show patience to my new siblings and hope for the best when my relationships with them may seem difficult. It may seem strange how these ideas could really connect with my siblings, but a few examples might make it clearer.

Always Looking for Trouble!

The first lesson is that Sunshine needs extra understanding from my family and me. The main reason for this is that it’s not fair to get impatient with her not following commands until she has an adequate time to learn them. When we tell her to sit and she slowly lowers to a position halfway between sitting and lying down, while wearing a confused expression on her face, it’s almost cruel to get impatient about that. Also, she may seem to cause more trouble than my family’s older dog, Poochita, but this is mostly because she is an energetic puppy. It wouldn’t really be reasonable to expect her to bundle all that raw energy and curiosity inside her little body until she exploded! (What planet do we think we live on anyway, that puppies would always be well-behaved???) Because of these factors, my family and I should show extra patience when Sunshine doesn’t obey or causes trouble.

Sunshine Just Couldn't Help Chasing Poochita's Tail...

The second lesson is that the relationship between our two dogs, Sunshine and Poochita, is strained because of miscommunication. The two dogs often get into growling matches or test the limits to see how much the other dog will bear. Sunshine, who is half Border Collie, likes to try to herd Poochita by bumping Poochita with her rump, and Poochita often responds by a ferocious growl and an occasional bite of Sunshine’s paw! These interactions may sound really bad, but this is because of miscommunication between the dogs. Each dog interacts well with people, so it’s not that either dog is inherently mean. However, they each view the situation differently: Sunshine wants a playmate and possesses the Border Collie herding instinct, and Poochita feels threatened by Sunshine’s cocky attempts to tease her. Neither dog’s view is wrong, but the misinterpretation of the other dog leads to conflict.

Finally! Some Progress!

How do these two lessons relate to my new siblings? They show two ways I can hopefully build better long-term relationships with my new siblings. The first way is to show a very patient spirit if my siblings’ actions within their first year home seem strange, annoying, or different than normal. Like yelling at Sunshine after she didn’t understand the “sit” command, it would be relationally damaging, unhelpful, and unreasonable to speak harshly to my youngest sister after she explored some of my prize belongings without asking. Also, if my new brother often got hyperactive while cooped up inside during the long Iowa winter, it would be more constructive to help him find a useful way to burn that extra energy than to angrily tell him to sit still. Of course, I’ll naturally fail in these very ways occasionally, and I may find other difficult aspects of my relationships with them. I’ll need to look to Jesus for wisdom and help. If He could give me these lessons through a puppy, of all things, I should certainly keep my ears and eyes open for other unusual ways He might teach me to relate to my siblings. Hmm…God made a donkey talk once…what if dogs could talk…?

~Joe