Russian Adoption: A Happy Story

Mr. and Mrs. Beaver:

Eight years ago, we adopted three biological siblings from Russia. Tonight we celebrated the middle sister's 13th birthday.

Here is Natasha at 4-1/2 years old on the day we met her in her orphanage director's office...

 ...and here she is today:

Natasha--now 13 years old

On this day that marks Natasha's birth, we also celebrate God's goodness in this former orphan's life. You may have heard stories of Russian adoptions gone wrong. What has happened in a very small number of these adoptions has gained wide media attention. Negative stories do that. However, the terribly sad stories of American adoptive parents wrongly mistreating their children wildly misrepresent the love and encouragement nearly all the families who have adopted Russian children seek to lavish on the kiddos they treasure. These adopted children's lives now tell tales of what the love of a family and the stability of a home can do for an orphan.

When we adopted Natasha, she was five-years-old and weighed a mere 26 pounds. Three months after becoming our daughter, she was diagnosed by a pediatric endocrinologist with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS) as a result of the intoxication of her mother during pregnancy. Her mother's drinking was the reason Natasha had been taken from her mother in the first place. Thankfully, the Russian government valued this little one enough to let Americans give her a fresh start through adoption. (This was after a thorough search to see if any Russians were interested in adding the four-year-old to their households. Russians had the first priority to adopt her.)

On the day we learned that Natasha has FAS, we were told that all children diagnosed with the syndrome will demonstrate mild to moderate retardation. Natasha's mental development has defied the prognosis. She reads at a collegiate level and reads voraciously. This serves her well because she has an unquenchable curiosity. Natasha is self-taught and well-versed in the areas of: horses, dogs, insects, horticulture, cooking, interior design and the functioning of the U.S. government. Natasha has a strong interest in relearning Russian (Small children adopted into another culture can't hang on to their original language unless they're in a bilingual environment.) Her 17-year-old sister Daria, adopted from Russia in 2010, is tutoring her. Natasha enjoys writing, working on political campaigns, baking and craft projects. In the fall of 2010 she was a finalist in the National Bible Bee after memorizing hundreds of verses. This qualified her to compete in the nationals in Chicago.

As a parent, these accomplishments can't help but bring a smile as we reflect on the teeny-tiny child who joined our family in April 2005 speaking only Russian. However, the state of her heart is much more important to us than any intellectual feats. Did you notice the shirt Natasha is wearing in the photo making her birthday? Natasha has a heart for orphans. This tenderness for children who need a family like she once did was even demonstrated in how the 13-year-old wanted to celebrate her birthday. Her request for her birthday gift was that we would forego buying her anything. Instead, she asked if the family could use the money we would normally spend on a present to host a fundraiser for families who are adopting.

Natasha has one other birthday wish. She longs for the four siblings whose adoption we had almost completed to be given the same chance she's had to join a family in America. She longs for the three brothers and their sister to become her brothers and sister. We continue to pray with her that her dream will come true. Please, Russia, reopen the door...

You Can Make a Difference, Part 1

Mr & Mrs. Beaver:

Getting in some steamy summer fun in the late evening on the day, July 16, 2001, on which we meet
 Jaynie, Cassandra, and Speedy. The building to the right is where the 300 kids ate their meals.
The buiding behind was home to classrooms and dormitories.

Since we adopted our first trio of older Russian children, Jaynie (8), Cassandra (7) and Speedy (5-1/2) nearly a decade ago, a growing number of Christian families have joined the movement to rescue the fatherless. With this change, there are also more and more opportunities for all of us to come alongside adoptive families to help met some of their needs and in doing those small tasks, make all the difference.

Having now adopted three trios of older children we can say from experience that those of us who adopt need the support of a loving community that is willing to come alongside us to help. We've all heard those stories on the news of adoptions, especially of older children gone wrong--sometimes terribly wrong. It doesn't have to be that way. It just may be that some small act on your part may be the difference between an adoptive family thriving or withering.

Here are five suggestions for things you can do. You certainly don't have to do them all. Any of these gestures will be experienced by the adoptive family as the fervent love 1 Peter 1:18 describes.

1) If you hear of a family that is considering adopting, ask God to grant them wisdom. Pray that they will be protected from the fear that so often paralyzes couples who entertain thoughts of adding another child through adoption. Pray that the Lord will increase their faith. Pray that He will help them to trust His plan for their lives.

2) If you know a family in the midst of an adoption, pray for them. Ask them regularly how you can best pray specifically at that point. As their adoption proceeds, their prayer needs will be continually shifting. Consider even organizing a prayer team that will stay active on their behalf long term.

3) Think before you make remarks about adoption to adoptive families. Those comments can prove to be hurtful or stir up fear. When we were in the process of adopting, Jaynie, Cassandra and Speedy, one of my friends who had been watching too many scary episodes of the Oprah Show, leaned close to me and whispered, "Are you going to put the knives away?" Ouch!

And no adoptive family needs to hear about the story of so-and-so whose adoptive child is a terror and whose family has lost hope. Adoptive families need your faith--not fuel for their fear. Adoption almost always turns out beautifully! God's power and grace are enough. Reminders of His willingness to give grace, encouragements about His ability to save and rescue are what adoptive families need to hear.

4) If a family is adopting internationally and they are nearing the date for their travel, they will most likely be required to take humanitarian aid with them. Ask what you can contribute. The adoption has probably already cost them thousands of dollars. Your help with the aid will probably be a financial help to them, as well as an emotional encouragement.

5) If a family is adopting and has a blog, follow their blog. They will be encouraged that someone is "listening" as they share their hearts about their new child or children. They will be grateful that you are taking time to follow what's so dear to them. They'll appreciate you putting in the effort to learn about the circumstances of the fatherless children in the country where their "baby" lives and, probably, suffers. You can rejoice when they rejoice and weep when they weep. You can post a "comment," providing a real sense of community for the adoptive family. It's easy to feel very alone when you're adopting.

Repeatedly, God's word commands His people to see to the care of orphans. If your circumstances don't allow you to adopt right now, you can still do so much that will contribute to the long-term success of an adoption. The orphan will be blessed. The adoptive family will be blessed. and, my guess is, that you'll probably be blessed as well. Treat these ideas as nothing more than a spring board to your unique ways to help adoptive families.

If you have ideas, post them in our comments section for others to see.