Russian Adoption: What Was Going Through Her Mind?

When we were blessed to travel to California in April, Daria, age 18, was able to stroll the ocean's edge for the first time. Her beach combing was an experience she most likely never would have had without having been adopted. I wonder what she was thinking as contemplatively sifted the sand with her toes.

Suffering: Bearing Up Under the Prick of Thorns

Mrs. Beaver:

I'm going to interrupt my posts about our travel for something far weightier. I read the following quote by Thomas Case this morning in Voices from the Past: Puritan Devotional Readings:

"God teaches His people in afflictions. He teaches us to feel compassion toward others who are suffering. We are prone to be insensitive toward others who are suffering when we are at ease. He also teaches us to prize our outward mercies and comforts more, and yet dote on them less. We are to be more thankful for them but less ensnared by them. Next God teaches us self-denial and obedient submission to His will. In our prosperity we are full of our own wills, and usually give God counsel as if we could tell God how it might be better. We dispute our cross, when we should take it up. By bearing a little we learn to bear more. The bullock unaccustomed to the yoke is impatient. After he is accustomed to labour, he willingly puts his neck under the yoke. God works out by degrees the delicate spirit we learned in our prosperity. One way or another, God works His children into a sweet, obedient frame. At length, God brings His children to subscribe: 'What God wills, when God wills, how God wills; Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.' Finally, we can learn humility and meekness of spirit. Pride naturally runs in our veins, and it is nourished by ease and prosperity. By trouble we come to know our own heart. God seeks to develop meekness in His people by affliction, then save them from affliction." (pg.145)

This past year has held some hard things for our family: the decline of my health followed by major surgery, Russia's decision to close adoption to Americans just as we were on the verge of adding four older siblings to our number, and the sudden and traumatic death of our beloved Aunt Jean which necessitated re-situating Mr. Beaver's 82-year-old mother due to her Alzheimer's. And then about two weeks ago, Mr. Beaver underwent surgery for a large growth in his palate. We thank God daily that the tumor was benign! Still, he is looking at a prolonged and painful healing process after having about 1/4 of the roof of his mouth removed.

The quote was a sweet reminder that while it is so easy to focus on the thorns, God also gives the rose. Suffering has value! For now we'll take comfort in that as we continue to put one foot in front of the next following our Savior through the trials.

Russian Adoption: April Girls

Mrs. Beaver:

I love adoption. I love Russia. I love Russia due to all the time I've spent in the country as a result of international adoption. You see, nine Russian children--all of whom had been orphaned by the alcoholism of their mothers--call me "Mama". Russia is dear to my heart.

I love our two youngest daughters, both born in Russia. Both have April birthdays. Both are like spring flowers blossoming before our eyes. Oksana (on the left) just turned nine, and Amy turned eleven last month.

Sadly, our family is missing an "April Girl," as I like to call them. Last year we worked hard toward adopting yet another little Russian beauty, also born in April. This precious princess was one of our Oksana's friends in her orphanage. They were playmates; Oksana and this other little "April Girl" slept in the same room. As the end of last year rolled around, we thought we were so close to adopting this little girl who would be our youngest daughter. All our paperwork was completed. We were simply waiting on THE call that a court date had been set.

Then, in late December, the Russian government shut the door to Americans willing to open their homes and families to children in Russian orphanages. We were crushed.

We still long to add this little "April Girl", and her three older brothers, to our family. The wait hasn't dimmed our desire. In fact, the government-imposed wall has only heightened our longing for these four children.

Please, please, President Putin, reopen the door to adoption. Please, Duma members, let us come get our "April Girl" and her brothers. Please consider the hearts of these children who had met their new parents and had been told that they were wanted after 2-1/2 years in an orphanage. "When will you return to take us home?" were among their last words as we waved good-bye last September. Please, President Putin and Duma members, don't let these precious children languish!

Russian Adoption: A Birthday She'll Never Forget

Yesterday Amy turned eleven.

We're certain she always remember this particular birthday because she spent the day in California. Her dad and brother had a week-long business trip so we decided at the last minute to  make it a family trip.

First thing in the morning, we gathered and walked to a renowned breakfast restaurant in the area.

Even thought we got there before the crowd did, our wait was still fairly long. You get used to this when you travel as an extra-large group.

Super-hungry Oksana kept checking to see if the restaurant was ready for us.

The rest of us us fellowshipped.

I was even able to sneak in a photo of our first Russian trio whom God placed in our family through adoption almost 12 years ago: Mark (17), Jaynie (almost 20) and Sarah (18).

The breakfast was outstanding--worth every minute of the wait. However, on the walk back from the restaurant, we indulged in sweatshirts for our youngest little girlies. Their goose bumps were enough to evoke our sympathy.

As a photographer, I quickly discovered the two girls looked mighty fine together in these colors. This worked out great since the duo are best friends.

Here Amy wrastled with a pink-flowered water snake...and eventually won!

Next we were off to beach...about a block away.

The birthday girl and her best buddy tentatively made their way to the water's edge. While the others had forged on ahead of them to begin wave hopping.

Later, older sisters, Jaynie (left) and Daria (right) help the birthday girl work up the courage to do a bit of wave hopping.

Mostly, though, Amy was content to play in the sand. These are her legs after some of that sand play. We weren't sure we'd ever get her clean!

After the hours of beach play, the kids were quite hungry. When we reached the restaurant, we told the birthday girl she could order anything she wanted (first time off the kids' menu!). She immediately set her heart on the "Danger Burger", a hamburger large enough to scare anyone but Amy.

We finished the day by a stroll down the Santa Monica Pier--a happening place at night. Our birthday girl was tired and happy after her first-ever birthday in such an exotic locale.

Russian Adoption: Broken Hearts

Yesterday the U.S. State Department met with Russian government officials. Today the 1,000 or so families that were caught in the process when the Russian legislature, the Duma, enacted a ban nearly four months ago on American adoption were informed of the Russian government's official position on the issue.

Our State Department was told that the ban is a law with no room for negotiation. No orphans will be allowed out. No allowances will be made for special needs children or those who are hard to place because they are older or parts of sibling groups.

Our hearts are so heavy. Since December, we've held out hope the orphans who had already been matched with families, like the three brothers and sister we were hoping to make part of our family, would still be placed. Today our hope crumbled. We've held the four kids we planned on naming Timothy, David, Luke and Katherine so close to our hearts for a whole year now. The pain is deep.

Sunshine in a Cowboy Hat

Mrs. Beaver:

After writing about Natasha in our last post, I stumbled across this picture of her which I didn't realize we had in our archive. The photo was taken last May, not long after she turned 12 years old. The hat was the horse-lover's birthday gift from her brother, John. We thank God for our precious daughter!

Russian Adoption: A Happy Story

Mr. and Mrs. Beaver:

Eight years ago, we adopted three biological siblings from Russia. Tonight we celebrated the middle sister's 13th birthday.

Here is Natasha at 4-1/2 years old on the day we met her in her orphanage director's office...

 ...and here she is today:

Natasha--now 13 years old

On this day that marks Natasha's birth, we also celebrate God's goodness in this former orphan's life. You may have heard stories of Russian adoptions gone wrong. What has happened in a very small number of these adoptions has gained wide media attention. Negative stories do that. However, the terribly sad stories of American adoptive parents wrongly mistreating their children wildly misrepresent the love and encouragement nearly all the families who have adopted Russian children seek to lavish on the kiddos they treasure. These adopted children's lives now tell tales of what the love of a family and the stability of a home can do for an orphan.

When we adopted Natasha, she was five-years-old and weighed a mere 26 pounds. Three months after becoming our daughter, she was diagnosed by a pediatric endocrinologist with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS) as a result of the intoxication of her mother during pregnancy. Her mother's drinking was the reason Natasha had been taken from her mother in the first place. Thankfully, the Russian government valued this little one enough to let Americans give her a fresh start through adoption. (This was after a thorough search to see if any Russians were interested in adding the four-year-old to their households. Russians had the first priority to adopt her.)

On the day we learned that Natasha has FAS, we were told that all children diagnosed with the syndrome will demonstrate mild to moderate retardation. Natasha's mental development has defied the prognosis. She reads at a collegiate level and reads voraciously. This serves her well because she has an unquenchable curiosity. Natasha is self-taught and well-versed in the areas of: horses, dogs, insects, horticulture, cooking, interior design and the functioning of the U.S. government. Natasha has a strong interest in relearning Russian (Small children adopted into another culture can't hang on to their original language unless they're in a bilingual environment.) Her 17-year-old sister Daria, adopted from Russia in 2010, is tutoring her. Natasha enjoys writing, working on political campaigns, baking and craft projects. In the fall of 2010 she was a finalist in the National Bible Bee after memorizing hundreds of verses. This qualified her to compete in the nationals in Chicago.

As a parent, these accomplishments can't help but bring a smile as we reflect on the teeny-tiny child who joined our family in April 2005 speaking only Russian. However, the state of her heart is much more important to us than any intellectual feats. Did you notice the shirt Natasha is wearing in the photo making her birthday? Natasha has a heart for orphans. This tenderness for children who need a family like she once did was even demonstrated in how the 13-year-old wanted to celebrate her birthday. Her request for her birthday gift was that we would forego buying her anything. Instead, she asked if the family could use the money we would normally spend on a present to host a fundraiser for families who are adopting.

Natasha has one other birthday wish. She longs for the four siblings whose adoption we had almost completed to be given the same chance she's had to join a family in America. She longs for the three brothers and their sister to become her brothers and sister. We continue to pray with her that her dream will come true. Please, Russia, reopen the door...