He Proposed with a Frisbee, Part 1

I don't know if I've ever left our readers hanging for so long after promising a post. Friends, I'm sorry for the prolonged wait for our family's big news. I never intended for weeks to pass by before I published the story of Josh and Zhenya getting engaged. However, I've found this to be amongst the most difficult posts I've ever been called on to write.

Why? Well, I've spent plenty of time searching my heart for the reason for my struggle. As strange as it sounds, I think the source of my writer's block has been overwhelming JOY! Let me try to explain...

Both Mr. R and I are over-the-moon THRILLED that Josh and Zhenya will soon wed. Mr. R spent months working with Josh during his courtship with Zhenya. Josh has been through a more rigorous screening than CIA agents must have to endure to enter the service. And Josh passed Mr. R's many queries with flying colors. He is truly a fine, godly young man.

In addition, there just couldn't be a man better suited to our beloved Zhenya! She is spunky, athletic, and just-plain full of life. Zhenya is a party-waiting-to-happen where ever she goes. She loves to laugh. She loves a good joke. She loves an adventure, and she rises to any challenge set before her. On top of all this, Zhenya is remarkably intelligent, creative and artistic. She has a growing business as owner of her own graphic design firm. It will take quite a man to be the life-long partner of our fireball, and we feel confident that God has given Josh the perfect blend of qualities to bring out Zhenya's best for the next 60 or so years.

So why the struggle to tell the story of Josh and Zhenya's engagement? Well, I've just grabbed a mug of steaming tea. Let me try my best to share my heart's elation with you.

Fourteen years ago Mr. R and I were in the midst of adopting from Russia. In late 2000, the two of us had experienced a nudge from God about the unending need for homes and families for older orphans in Eastern European. With great trepidation, we fell to our knees to seek the face of God to make certain that He was really calling us to something that seemed so risky. We also sought wisdom and guidance in His word.

We didn't have to pray long or read far to begin to comprehend God's heart for the orphan. By mid January 2001, we'd started the adoption process, planning on bringing home one child who was between six and eight. God, however, continued to do radical surgery in our hearts (despite the fear raging in me). During my regular Bible reading time one morning, I read in Ecclesiastes that "two are better that one". Again we recognized God at work through His word, and we made the decision to adopt siblings ~ a boy and a girl. My fear continued, but at least I could see the logic behind us adding a brother for John and a sister for Anna and Alison. This made impending change to our family seem neat and tidy!

God, however, was not interested in allowing me to rest in a place that felt neat, tidy and under control. Within days of our home study being finished, the adoption agency director emailed Mr. R...directly from rural RUSSIA! She was visiting an orphanage in the Bryansk region in the far western part of the country. Her agency had just started to work with the Zhukovka orphanage and her goal was to build a relationship with the orphanage's director that could lead to future adoptions. Mr. R read in the unexpected email that she'd met the PERFECT kids for us. There was just one small detail that varied from our plan. This sibling group was made up of THREE kiddos instead of two!

The thought of doubling the number of our children in one fell swoop overwhelmed me! I just couldn't wrap my head around parenting six children ages eleven to five. I couldn't begin to fathom how I would home school six, especially since three of them wouldn't speak English fluently for more than a year after they joined the family. In addition, friends to whom we mentioned that we were praying about adopting three older children were saying things to us like, "Are you going to hide the knives?"

In the midst of my fretting, God grabbed a hold of my heart. One morning while I was reading my Bible, He revealed my failure to trust Him. That revelation cast a whole new light on the craziness of adopting a trio of siblings from a half a world away. We wouldn't be traveling the road alone. God would be with us, and He would be faithful. I remembered that nothing was impossible for Him, including healing the hearts and lives of some very broken children. Mr. R had already come to the conclusion that we should adopt Zhenya, Svetlana and Vladislav (as they were then known). Now, after about six weeks of wrestling, I told Mr. R that I was ready to take God at His word and take on three orphans.

In September 2001 (one week after 9/11), we went to court in Russia and became the parents of three traumatized, neglected children. These were siblings whose multi-generational legacy was one of alcoholism, divorce, and children born out of wedlock. We had three goals for our new kiddos. First, that their physical needs ~ food, clothing, shelter and education ~ would be met. Second, that they would be taught about God and introduced to Jesus. We knew that they only way for them to fully heal from their traumatic first few years was to eventually have their identity solidly anchored in Christ's very personal love of each of them. Third, that we would, by God's grace, equip them to be able to go the distance in happy marriages, successfully raising children to God's glory. We longed for them to break the legacy that caused them such pain. We longed for the cycle to never repeat itself in their lives or those of their children.

We've witnessed the fulfilling of those first two goals over the course of the past 14 years. The third goal has had to wait. We just couldn't know whether marriage-readiness could be attained until one of our nine children who has since come to our family through older-child adoption reached the maturity and selflessness necessary. There have been times when we've wondered if such emotionally scarred children could be healed enough to have successful marriages and families. And yet, God has healed! God has been faithful! Mr. R and I feel confident that Zhenya is READY to walk down the aisle and into a life-long marriage. She's READY to make a great mommy to a home full of children. Her readiness is a God-wrought miracle in my mind. The healing that her engagement confirms is something that only the Lord could do. After all, under the exterior of a resilient 22-year-old woman is the soul of a little girl who witnessed her first father try to take his own life and who lived under a bridge with her younger siblings when her first mother would disappear for weeks at a time. All glory be to God for His love for and care of the orphan!

There. I have finally committed to writing the memories and musings that have circled their way through my heart and mind since Josh and Zhenya's engagement. My sense of awe for the wonder of our God has never been greater. He has done what looked impossible. God has poured hope into a life that the world would consider hopeless.

In Part 2 of this post, I'll share the story of the big day along with plenty of pictures. God is the author of their love story and their love story is BEAUTIFUL already!

May God richly bless you,
Mrs. R (Denise)

10 Years? Already?

I simply can't let today slip by without mentioning that this is the 10th anniversary of our adoption of biological sisters from the town of Klinsty in the region of Bryansk in extreme western Russia. Christina, Hope and Faith (l-r) were 7, 3, and 5 when we adopted them. They have brought immeasurable joy to our family and we thank God for them daily! The most prominent characteristic of these sisters is that are all avid self-taught learners. If they develop an interest, they educate themselves. Each of us in the family has learned so much from them about subjects we would have never thought to pursue ourselves. Their zest for life is contagious! What a gift these older-Russian orphans have proven to be!

investing in their hearts

I recently posted about the Valentine's lunch Mr. R and I had with our youngest daughters. After we ate, the girls' daddy went back to work. However, since the older kids were still off skiing, I had several hours to invest in strengthening my relationship with Hope (12) and Eliana (10). I knew the best way to do that was to create an afternoon of shared fun.

First, we made a stop at Hobby Lobby looking for props for a photo shoot. We spent about an hour slowly combing the aisles. This was great "girl time", and my daughters chattered away sharing their thoughts about what they saw at the giant craft store. I enjoyed getting to know the girls' maturing tastes on a whole new level.

Next we drove to the nearby college where their oldest siblings took music lessons for years. I learned during a maternity shoot I with did with Alison last summer that the two-story windows in the lobby of the music building make it a great photo studio. On this Friday afternoon the area was full of light and devoid of people. Perfect!

I started with some "serious" photos of each girl starting with Hope.

I couldn't help but take a picture of her cowgirl boots ~ new that morning. Hope was so happy to have them. She'd been dreaming of owning just such footwear for a long time. She must have told me "Thank you!" at least a dozen times that day for the boots.

I'd asked the girls to bring their favorite stuffed animal as a photo prop, and Hope chose "Brownie" an extra-large dog we gave her on her fourth birthday when she was still extra-small.

Eliana brought the big frog that sits atop her bed each day and sleeps with her at night. Her affectionate name for her favorite animal is Froggie.

Next I took a few pictures of Eliana by herself.

Those of you who know Eliana well will recognize the look on her face here as being very "her."

This little girl who was six when we adopted her is now nearly as tall as I am. We suspect she will be the tallest of the females in the family when she's full grown.

After we'd taken this handful of "serious" photos, we started trying some silly stuff. The result was just what I was hoping for ~ a great deal of laughter.

The girls modeled the latest in designer eye wear.

Then I pulled out another find from our shopping trip. For $3 we'd been able to purchase an entire roll of Valentine's-pink toile. Hope puzzled a bit over what to do with the netting...at first...

..but it didn't take long before the girls' imaginations took hold. They started wrapping each other...round and round and...

As they swaddled each other, the giggles continued.

Once they were gift-wrapped in the ribbon, they wanted to go outdoors to the long stretch of lawn just outside the college building...

...and the girls took off at a run.

Then they turned around and raced back toward me.

Eliana trailed the ribbon behind her,

then bunched it up for a new hat.

Hope got creative quickly and told Eliana that she wanted to make a bridal veil for her.

Hope's "bride" wore her adornment beautifully.

As the afternoon sun started to dip behind the horizon, I wanted to make sure that I got a serious photo of these two girls together. They are such close friends!

I'd recently read about sisters kissing one another in a photography book, so I asked Hope to give Eliana a smooch.

Eliana's facial expressions were...

...priceless!

Unexpectedly, Eliana turned on Hope with an equally exaggerated smooch.

Hope immediately wiped off the kiss while Eliana was seized with a fit of laughter.

We finished our Valentine's Day sister shoot by taking a peek at a fun piece of artwork we'd found on sale at Hobby Lobby. We're in the process of updating the girls' bedroom which they share with Faith. This large painting had the happy feeling of the bedspreads we'd already purchased. Taking this photo also allowed me to showcase Hope's beloved cowgirl boots again.

Although I will treasure these photos as the girls grow, the pictures weren't the point. My desire was to create an afternoon of fun that would bond the three of us for the years to come. Although our girls are just tweens right now, before we know it they will enter that season of teenage self-discovery... a time when a strong, loving parent-child relationship can make all the difference. God kindly provided just exactly what I had hoped for in that afternoon. 

Daddy's Little Valentines

Mrs. R:

Our family has stumbled upon a new tradition over the past two years. On the Friday of Valentine's Day weekend, our kiddos who are high school age and up go on a one-day ski trip with our church. That leaves us with just our two youngest at home. We've tried to make the day special for Hope Alina and Eliana by doing something way out of the norm. Yesterday we took just the two of them out to lunch at the fanciest restaurant in town. We even got dressed up for the special event! Love these two Valentine's whom the Lord added to our family through older-child adoption! (Eliana --on the left-- was 6 when we adopted her and is now 10. Hope was 3 when upon her adoption and is now 12.)

After Dad rose from the chair, a bit of sister silliness ensued. We thank God for the friendship these siblings share!

what if her mother had been aborted?

Placing a child for adoption creates a multi-generational legacy.

The precious girl in the picture above is Brielle, the daughter of Anna, our oldest child. We give thanks to God that Anna's birthmother preserved Anna's life and allowed us to raise her. We can't even begin to comprehend a world without Brielle... or Anna!

Birthday Thanks to Our Twins {The Role Siblings Play in Adoption}

Mrs. R:

Happy 23rd, John and Alison! Our family has been wildly blessed by the two of you in ways too numerous to count. 

However, on your special day, I want to acknowledge a role you have played in our unusual extra-large bio-adoptive family. You two are the only ones who weren't added to our family through adoption. As the biological children, you could have tried to claim a special place in your parents' hearts. At times it would have been easy to mock or demean your other 10 siblings. But you haven't--ever. As your older sister, Anna, met her birth parents after she turned 18, you were in her corner cheering her on and praying for her.

In addition, each of the three times we adopted three children from Russia, you demonstrated the constancy, patience, love and encouragement your new siblings needed so much to adapt to their new lives in America. You lived sacrificial love like no one outside our family could possibly fathom. And you did so without a word of complaint. In fact, each time we considered adoption, you were in the forefront of the crowd encouraging us. You saw children who needed a family and helped give us the fortitude to take the steps of faith needed to be that family for them. And then you followed up with day-in, day-out love and support for them as they adjusted. You lived Christ-like love before you knew much about the theology of it. 

This time around I'm only posting photos from our first adoption of a trio of siblings, but each of these pictures is worth 1,000 words. These photos were taken in the first six months after the adoption of Zhenya, Sarah and Matthew. Despite the short time your new sisters and brother had been your siblings, their security in your all-embracing love shows in their eyes and their smiles. Although there are no photos here from the adoptions of your other six siblings, the story is the same. Your sacrificial love made an incredible impact from the start and, your dad and I firmly believe, has been a key factor in the reason they are all progressing so well years after their adoptions.

Thank you, twins, for making all the difference in the world.

With much love,

Mom

Alison (rear) age nine and Zhenya age eight -- December 2001

Matthew age six and John age nine -- December 2001

Matthew age six and Alison age nine -- Christmas Day 2001

Matt age six and John age 10 -- Spring 2002

Sarah age 7 Alison age 10 and Zhenya age 8 -- Easter 2002

Zhenya age 8 and Alison age 10 -- Spring 2002

Wrestling...

Mrs. R:

The test of salvation isn't whether I can live well...but rather, can I die. Can I give up my desires to my King...can I serve happily wherever He places me? My well being isn't the question. The question is: Am I willing to do Kingdom work even where I'd rather not? Am I willing to trust God for His enabling grace to serve in the hardest place in which He could put me? Am I willing to trust God that He is good? Am I willing to trust God that He is GOOD and does good? Am I willing to trust God when He says in the Bible that He loves me? Because, if I trust Him on these points, then I can joyfully concede that the hardest situation in which the Lord could place me is for my good. Ultimately, I will be blessed and He will be glorified.

Am I willing to trust God when He says repeatedly in His word that He will carry the load?

Pride Does WHAT???

Mrs. R:

For the past several months, I've found this quote very helpful in seeing the real me. The words were pinned by one of my all-time favorite preachers (see www.sermonaudio.com) and authors, Jim Berg:

"Pride whines and pouts;
Pride shouts and demands;
Pride argues and debates;
Pride covets and grasps;
Pride screams and retaliates;
Pride lusts and indulges;
Pride manipulates and schemes;
Pride drives and obsesses;
Pride worries and frets.

"Pride is full of self-assertion, self-protection, self-promotion, self-confidence and self-esteem. Pride cries out, "I will not! I must have! I don't have to...! I won't let that happen! I can't take any more of ...! I don't like this!"

Dr. Berg also points out, "Most of the noise in our souls is caused when we try to gain control or regain it when it has been taken away." God is More Than Enough: Foundations for a Quiet Soul, pgs. 8

I'm so guilty of trying to stay in control in my own little kingdom. I like things my way! And while you'll almost never find me actually screaming or shouting, the attitudes that can produce these messy ways of living with others are often festering in my heart.

To fight the disease of pride, I've written Dr. Berg's insight onto a 3x5 index card. I review the card as part of my Bible reading early each morning, praying to God that He will keep me from the many manifestations of pride that can so easily wound my family. I've found that over time, God is helping me to become more sensitive to "ick" the lives inside me. Now I can sometimes even catch myself before I spill "ick" on someone near me.

Every once in a while a powerful quote is enough to change your life. I'm finding that these words are changing mine for the better. I think my husband and children would echo that and tell you that the daily "pride scrubbing" of my soul is making me a more pleasant, Christ-like person to be around. I'm finding that rehearsing these words daily and letting them be used by the Holy Spirit is increasing my joy. This is a win-win for everyone!

No Photo...Only a Sweet Memory

Denise Reynolds:

Last night as I was upstairs working on yesterday's post about Mr. R and Sarah's safari in Zambia, the sweetest noise was drifting up from the kitchen. Hope (age 12) and Eliana (age 10) decided to make sugar cookies. I could hear them giggle their way through the preparation of the dough and the baking of the one batch of 12 cookies that all their effort yielded.

I was concentrating so hard on posting photos of cheetahs and giraffes and zebras and wildebeest that I didn't hear the precious young bakers enter my bedroom. A stifled giggle from the duo broke my concentration. I then turned to look at my two youngest daughters. They stood hand-in-hand holding a plate of decorated Christmas cookies wearing enormous grins. They giggled again and broke into "We Wish You a Merry Christmas." The cookie elves offered me one of their dozen treasures and then slipped out of my room. As I went back to work on my computer, I heard the faint sounds of them going from room to room where their older siblings were doing high school or college studying. At each stop, the girls sang their course and delivered a Christmas cookie to a brother or sister. Ahhh...the friendship of these two former orphans who are now sisters is such a sweet gift from our good God!

Just Love Those Eyes!

One of the rich blessings of adoption is that variety is often added to the family gene pool. In our case, the Lord has gave us Eliana's half-moon crescent eyes. They are a completely different shape than those of anyone else in our tribe. I just love the way Eliana's crinkle into tight slits when she's happy. The consensus in the family is that the beauty of her eyes is increased by their deep brown color. We thank God that He had made our family more diverse and beautiful by adding Eliana to our number.

I look forward to seeing what the eyes of Eliana's children look like! I sure hope the happy crescents are replicated in the next generation! What a blessing adoption is!