An Updated Family Photo

Getting a group picture of our tribe has always been a challenge considering our size. And now that our oldest daughters, Anna and Lissie, live in far away states with their husbands, the opportunities are few. However, Eric and Lissie's wedding presented the chance and photographer Lauren La Plante blessed us with this picture. The only change to the family is Lissie's small-but-growing bump.

Back row: (left to right) Brielle (15 months) Aaron Nix, Kirsten, Jim (Dad), Lissie Reynolds Moores, Eric Moores, Alexander, John (Lissie's twin), Matthew
Second row: Evelyn Rose (Seven weeks) Anna Reynolds Nix, Natasha, Zhenya
Front row: Amy, Denise (Mom), Oksana, Sarah, Tatyana

This was to be our Christmas card picture, but the cards are gathering dust on my desk since before my surgery in late December. If you're on our Christmas card list, please know we loved getting your greeting during the holiday season!

Please...PLEASE!!!

Mrs. Beaver:

We were with the young family of our daughter Anna and her husband, Aaron, at Thanksgiving and again in mid December. One of the joys of the fellowship was getting to see our granddaughter, Brielle, use her first sign language. She was only just beginning to say her first words at the time, but, boy, could she sign the word, "please". (That sign is communicated by patting the chest once with the palms of both hands.)

I don't recall what Brielle wanted in this photo as she sat on the floor of her nursery amidst many of her aunties (our daughters), but she obviously wanted it badly. By the time she'd reached the ripe-old-age of 18 months, Brielle had learned to pound her chest emphatically and repeatedly when she wanted something as she's doing here. And, don't you love the imploring look that went with her plea?

Brielle's new-found ability to sign "please", coupled with her willingness to use manners, makes this grandmother beam. Anna and Aaron have been intentional in teaching their little one her first lesson in courtesy. And their efforts have required perseverance. They began to demonstrate to Brielle how to sign "please" when she was about six months old. They had a wait of nearly a year before they saw results, during which they had to teach and reteach and reteach and... And, that they did. They showed Brielle how to sign the word, helped her tap her chest and then eventually required the sign before they would hand her what she was wanting. They persisted in the training that is the beginning of our granddaughter becoming a gracious child.

Good manners aren't simply a beautiful-but-really-unnecessary bow gracing the top of a nicely wrapped package. We shouldn't think of good manners as the cherry on top of a sundae. Courtesy is an unseen bridge between humans. Honoring others by being polite to them is the bare minimum when Jesus says, "Love others." Here's what the authors of the outstanding book The Love Dare for Parents have to say:

"Manners, at their very heart, are a way of expressing love and showing respect for the intrinsic value in other people, each made in the image of God (Genesis 1:27). Respectful etiquette displays a practical, living example of the Golden Rule in action (Luke 6:31). It minimizes unpleasantness by looking out not only 'for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others' (Philippians 2:4). It's how we follow the biblical command to 'honor all people' (1 Peter 1:17)." (Stephen and Alex Kendrick, The Love Dare for Parents, pg. 47)

Good manners are God's idea. The Bible makes it clear that treating others with the kindness expressed through courtesy is "walking in a manner worthy of the Lord" (Colossians 1:10). Authors Stephen and Alex Kendrick make a powerful statement about the positive outcome of a parent's effort to teach their child good manners:

"Good manners...warm the heart and set the atmosphere at ease. Polite children make your experience with them a fragrance instead of a stench. They subtly raise the respect level in the house. Isn't that the kind of effect you want your children to have on others? On you?

"By intentionally teaching and modeling good manners for your children, you not only treat them with greater honor and respect, You also help them become a living blessing to others." (pg.46)

I love Brielle's emphatic thumps on her little chest when she wants me to know she really wants something. I feel inclined to lay down my own interests and meet her desires. And, honestly, I feel honored, even if she is only a toddler. Aaron and Anna have begun the process of teaching their first child that manners matter, and those who come into contact with Brielle over the years with be blessed. Manners matter.

Mother's Day Reflection: A Better Plan

Mrs. Beaver:

We were never able to have children like most people do, and yet I'm the mother of twelve. God's plan was better than ours!

Twelve years ago this month, I was wrestling with whether we should double the number of our children. Mr. Beaver had already come to peace with the idea, but I was scared stiff at the thought. We'd felt led by the Lord to adopt one older Russian orphan. Then the Lord led us to the idea of adopting siblings. When we received our referral, we were shocked that our agency wanted us to adopt a trio of siblings. Like Jacob in the Old Testament God won the wrestling match--I ended up with a hip out of joint--so to speak--and we went from three children to six as the result of one court hearing in Russia in September 2001. A dozen years later, I can smile this Mother's Day and say God's plan was better.

This first of the three trios we've adopted from Russia has reached adulthood. Jaynie turned twenty this month. Cassandra will be 19 in July and Mark's 18th birthday will fall near the close of 2013. We've come to the end of parenting them as children. There's been "hard", as the expression goes, to get to this point. But Mr. Beaver and I would tell you that most of that hard has been the result of sinfulness in the two of us. God has refined us through the parenting of Jaynie, Cassandra and Mark in ways that would have never have proven necessary if we hadn't adopted older children. Through the process, He has made us a bit more like Christ. God's plan was better.

Our role now will be to shepherd them as they make their mark on the world as adults. Watching God open doors for them is soul satisfying to Mr. Beaver and me. After all, these were cast-away kids. Living in an orphanage doesn't allow you much opportunity to develop the gifts God has placed in you. But when you're in a family your special talents stand a better chance of being recognized and utilized. God's plan is better.

While Mark is still a bit too young to have his direction settled, Jaynie and Cassandra's dreams are opening up to them. Jaynie learned this week that she has been accepted for a graphic design internship at Wells Enterprises, makers of Blue Bunny Ice Cream. For years Jaynie, who loves to draw, has had a desire to illustrate children's books, and we believe this is the first of a number of steps in that direction. God's plan is best.

Cassandra's world is also opening up before her. Months ago she pulled the two of us aside and told us she had a dream of serving orphans in Africa ~ and perhaps widows at the same time. This past week Cassandra and I attended #Summit9 hosted by the Christian Alliance for Orphans (CAFO) in Nashville. There, a "God story" began to unfold as Cassandra found a ministry that works in Zambia with orphans and widows. She was told they have just the place for the talents, skills and giftings the Lord has placed in her. We still have many details to work through before she goes, but Cassandra is so excited that she cries tears of joy when she tells the story of the Lord matching her with this ministry. God's plan is best.

If I'd had my way with motherhood, I would have given birth to four children. God has only allowed me one pregnancy, but that resulted in our beautiful twins, John and Lissie. To our great surprise, He's also given us ten other treasures through adoption. His plan has been so very different than mine. His plan has been far better than mine. His plan ~ as always ~ is best.

Amy's 10th

Mrs. Beaver:

On Saturday, Amy hit double digits. Of the nine children we've adopted from Russia, she was the youngest as she became a family member. When we met her on the required "first trip," Amy was only 2-1/2. Here she is in December 2004:

That day we were allowed to spend 45 minutes with her and then asked whether we were ready to sign a document committing to her adoption. As we'd sat on the sofa in the orphanage director's office, Amy had been as passive as we'd ever seen a toddler. She barely moved, didn't smile and never made a sound. Despite her listlessness, when our short stint with Amy came to a close we were already in love with her button-nose (and the rest of her!) and didn't hesitate to sign the document declaring we were willing to be her parents. 

Four months later we were allowed to return. Amy had turned three just days before we picked her up at the baby  and toddler orphanage. This time Amy was anything but silent. As she was taken from the familiarity of her care-taker's arms and placed in the arms of two people who were strangers, she began a truly pathetic whimpering, moaning sob that would continue for about two hours through the experience of traveling with us to the orphanage in which her sisters, Tatiana (7) and Natasha (5) resided to pick them up.

Before we'd even left Russia, we discovered that Amy was not at all what we'd expected after our first visit with her. Instead, she was a happy, spunky, exuberant child who quickly captured the hearts of all in her new family.

Amy's love of life made her happy to try out new experiences, like running the small pebbles on Lake Superior's shore through her fingers.

Amy was sickly when she first joined the family, and her weight dropped from 21 pounds to 19. At 3-1/2 years old she was wearing 12 month clothing! A couple of minor surgeries early on following her adoption made Amy more resilient to infection.

In one of the operations, Amy had to have all but eight teeth removed. Our pediatric dentist pieced together that her teeth had rotted as a result of being left with a bottle in her crib during long hours of neglect by her birth mother. We felt grateful to the Lord to be able to provide the health care and nutrition she desperately needed!

As she grew stronger and healthier, Amy's zest for life made her creative...

...and many times her creativity has left her family laughing!

We're certain Amy will always remember her 10th birthday. That very morning Mr. Beaver and I gathered our children in our great room and shared our decision to add a sibling group of four to our gang. True to character, Amy burst into ecstatic tears of joy and flew across the room into the arms of her daddy, tightly hugging his neck. In her special way, she enthusiastically signaled her approval of our decision.

We were in such a celebratory mood, having both an a birthday and an adoption for which to rejoice, that we did something we've never done before for one of our children's birthdays. We went to Chuck E. Cheese for pizza and games.

Many of Amy's siblings gave her the tickets they'd earned. Mark was the first to demonstrate selflessness to his sister.

Amy asked Natasha to help her decide how to "spend" her new-found wealth.

Amy's choose as her largest prize a bag of very pink cotton candy. Lissie read us the list of ingredients. It went something like this: air, sugar, red food coloring, sugar, sugar sugar...

Amy's antics continue. She brought our Chuck E. Cheese experience to an end by giving her family a reason to laugh--yet again--as she exited in giant purple-slat eyeglasses. Amy remains wonderfully unaware of self, willing to just enjoy life as it comes to her. Amy loves others with an open-hearted abandon that has blessed many, starting with her family.

We thank God for packing so much joy into such a small package. We thank God for giving us the grace to say, "Yes!" to a toddler who seemed so lifeless. We thank God for the gift of Amy!

Daddy and Daughters

Mrs. Beaver:

I'm still reveling in the beauty and wonder of our family's celebration of Easter last weekend. Just as we were gathering at our large dining room table for a mid-day meal of ham and Daria's amazing mashed potatoes, I saw Cassandra and her dad enjoying a snuggle:

When Oksana saw the cuddle going on she chirped, "Me, too! Me, Too!" and ran to her daddy's end of the table with her arms lifted high:

There isn't a day that goes by that our family doesn't thank God for making us a family. There isn't a day that goes by that Mr. Beaver and I don't marvel at God's goodness, His kindness, His love in using both pregnancy and adoption to breath abundant, vibrant life, in the form of children, into the home of an utterly barren couple. We revel in his resurrecting power, displayed in our lives as redemptive love.

Change Can Be Hard

Mrs. Beaver:

At Grandma and Aunt Jean's house the summer after J & C's adoption

2008--visiting England, where the first five in the family used to live

From the time we adopted Jaynie and Cassandra 10 years ago, our four oldest daughters have been close-knit. They've shared bedrooms, clothes, make-up, and most importantly, their hearts with each other.

The past five months have brought such change to the foursome. Anna is now a happy wife four states away, and, as of this week, Jaynie is a homeschool helper 9,000 miles away.

Yesterday at the airport as Jaynie departed with her dad and Joe

How grateful I am to God for creating such a close bond between sisters from two different continents. People some times ask us if biological and adopted siblings can truly bond with one another. The answer is a resounding, "YES!"

I'm also deeply grateful that we have a sympathizing Saviour who Himself wept! I am grateful that we have a God who doesn't shame us for grieving but commands instead, "Weep with those who weep."

My girls who have been such dear friends are going to hurt for some time over the loss of the daily-ness of their relationship. But I know that that same sympathizing Saviour is also an all-powerful King who will strengthen them and help them adjust to the "new normal" in our family as our "arrows" begin to fly.

Feasting with Friends

Because of all the uncertainties with the adoption process last year, our family never went on a vacation. (The trip to Russia as a family was INCREDIBLE, but didn't quite qualify as a relaxing vacation!) So during this first week in January, we are sneaking off to one of our favorite spots in the world: the North Shore of Lake Superior in Minnesota.

On the way to our destination we stopped at the home of our dear friends, Gary and Amanda, (for more info see A Few Photos from our First Full Day at Home). One of the highlights of our time together was a huge Thanksgiving-style meal on New Year's Eve. Amanda's brother, Victor, who was visiting from Guatemala, skillfully carved the two turkeys. (Amanda is originally from Guatemala.)

It was good that Amanda had purchased two turkeys because she fed 18 teens and young adults...

...our three little ones and a table full of adults. 

Everyone had plenty to eat, except perhaps the poor, frantically busy hostess who was still nibbling after everyone else was finished.

After this glorious meal, the kids played a game for a while...

...and then Gary and Amanda kindly celebrated the 19th birthday of our New Year Day twins, Joe and Lissie, a day early. The broke out an enormous chocolate cake and a cheesecake.

We all watched as Cassandra masterfully carved the beautiful chocolate cake (Joe and Lissie's favorite flavor).

Th cake was as delicious as it was tall, and we all enjoyed it...

....especially Princess Bink.

Joe and Lissie were overjoyed to spend their birthday with some of their closest friends. God has been so good to bless us with an enduring friendship with people who have such servant hearts.

Favorite Family Photos: Autumn Hike

In a post earlier this week I mentioned our family's love of hiking. Our favorite season for this activity is fall.

Three years ago the weather was especially favorable, and we went on hike after hike. On one of those ventures, Natasha and Princess Bink were walking through the woods hand-in-hand when I was blessed to capture these images of our 5- and 7-year-olds. Every time I see these two pictures, which are some of my all-time favorites, I'm reminded of that special autumn when we spent so much time just having fun together.

~Mrs. Beaver