Happy 25th Birthday, Aaron!

So thankful to God this man is our son-in-law!

May God richly bless this coming year, Aaron,

and may you grow ever closer to Him!

Nap Anyone?

Zhenya and I have come to stay with Anna and Aaron to help with the little girls until Anna gives birth to daughter Number 3. (She was due on Sunday, June 7.) I snatched a few photos of Brielle as she laid down for her nap today. I'm a VERY happy grandmother!

Finding Help When Life Presses In

"Behold, God is my helper; the Lord is the uplifter of my life."

(Psalm 54:4 ESV)

"But let us strive to get more of Christ in our souls...We must look more upward; for all our help cometh from the Lord. To live near to Him---to walk humbly before Him--to enjoy much of His presence---to realize the coming glory,---this is heaven begun on earth, and should be our constantly increasing aim. To go to Him at all times--to go when our love has chilled, when the world creeps in, when creature streams pass away, when cares accumulate and anxieties press---to tell Him our case, however, bad it might be---to make use of Jesus, if I might be allowed the expression,---this, this is our happy, holy privilege. Only go to Jesus. Make all manner of excuses to go; find an errand to take you to Him in all the every day incidents of life; for in going to the Fountain of all good, we shall be more and more conformed to His Word and transformed into His image." Octavius Winslow, editor, Heaven Opened: The Correspondence of Mary Winslow, pg. 115

He Proposed with a Frisbee, Part 3

When we last left the story of Josh and Zhenya's engagement, Josh was eager to propose. His hope was that the two families would strike up a game of Ultimate Frisbee, a fellowship staple of the group. That way Josh could carry out his plan to toss Zhenya the custom Frisbee he'd had made with the words printed on it, "Will You Marry Me?".

However, Zhenya had wandered to the far reaches of the enormous park to hunt for Crawfish with Josh's little brother. I'm certain that Josh wasn't surprised by her reason for leaving the group. Zhenya's love of children and dedication to their interests is one of the traits he's found attractive in her. Still, I'm not sure how Josh was able to endure the wait for her to return from the other side of the park; I was certainly struggling with my desire for him to have the opportunity to "pop the question". So much was riding on a Frisbee toss!

Finally, Zhenya began to meander back toward the rest of the group. At this point Josh's mom got creative and manufactured an excuse for Josh to slip away from the group to go get the customized Frisbee he had hidden in the car.

While Josh was away, Zhenya arrived at the picnic shelter. At this point, her dad did some quick thinking. He knew if she saw Josh from a distance she would want to find out what he was up to before Josh could get in position to toss her the Frisbee. Thus, Zhenya's dad intervened and asked her to help him practice his dance steps. She apparently didn't think this too strange because her dad and I had just taken a dance lesson. Zhenya knew we were still trying to grasp the steps we'd learned, and we were practicing on anyone who got near enough.

Honestly, I'm surprised that these photos of Zhenya and her daddy are in focus. I'm just certain that I was shaking by this time! I KNEW Josh had gone to get THE Frisbee. I KNEW he was JUST ABOUT to propose to our precious Zhenya. And, as I heard his footfall on the gravel path heading away from the picnic shelter, I was suddenly transported to the dusty grounds of a large orphanage in western Russia...

...where we first met Zhenya and two of her siblings, Sarah and Matt. 

I was recalling the weed-filled field dotted with a few pieces of broken-down equipment that served as the playground for about 300 children.

And I was also remembering a precious eight-year-old little girl who looked and acted like a little boy. She could beat the boys at any sport they wanted to play.

Since the day we met Zhenya in 2001, we realized that she was a stalwart tomboy. And, the way she carried herself was very understandable. The little fatherless eight-year-old had grown tough in order to simply survive. Before she was taken from her alcoholic mother's care, Zhenya would repeatedly watch her mom's boyfriends come to their house and get drunk. They would then beat her mother as Zhenya and her siblings watched. Zhenya witnessed her father try to commit suicide. She also lived with Sarah and Matt under a bridge at times when their mother would disappear for weeks at a time and the landlord would kick the children out. Is it any wonder that before even reaching the age of nine, Zhenya had surrendered her femininity and carried herself like one of the guys on the orphanage playground?

When we adopted her, we honestly weren't sure if she would grow up to embrace what God had created her to be -- a beautiful woman. After all, that adoption 14 years ago was truly just a giant leap of faith. We had no prior experience that informed us how older-children placed in a family through adoption would turn out. When we took the step to enlarge our family in this way, we didn't know another soul who had taken a similar step. We couldn't begin to realized that an international orphan-care movement was just about to take shape as Christians around the globe stepped up to care for the least of these.

As it turns out, Mr. R and I have had the great joy and privilege of watching God mold and heal Zhenya in so many ways. Oh, she remains wonderfully athletic! Zhenya could still give NFL quarterbacks a run for their money! And she's still willing to take risks and try new challenges. At the same time, Zhenya has grown into a woman who gladly embraces being female. And, our godly daughter is eager to take on the roles of wife and mother. Our God is great. Nothing is impossible for Him!

This review of the past 14 years was racing through my mind as Josh hurried to the family's van to retrieve his tool for proposing. As I heard his returning steps, my heart overflowed with joy! All I could think was, "By God's grace, she's ready! Zhenya is ready to be a godly wife! God has molded her into a masterpiece perfect for this young man we've come to love and admire! God is soooo good!"

I apologize, but I didn't manage to capture a photo of Josh tossing THE Frisbee to her. Even though I KNEW what was going to happen, I wan't composed enough to capture the throw with my camera. I'm afraid I was just recovering from my flashback to Russia.

What happened was this: Josh tossed Zhenya the Frisbee and without a glance at its top, she threw it right back to him. Josh was unable to bear the wait any longer so he took matters into his own hands. When he caught the Frisbee, he tipped it's surface toward her so that she would notice it wasn't the Frisbee they normally played with. Then, he tossed right back to her.

Before she could even comprehend the Frisbee's words, "Will You Marry Me?", Josh was at her feet and had dropped to one knee.

As both families watched, he produced a jeweler's box and flipped it open as he said to her, "Zhenya, the past eight months have been the best of my life. I can't imagine the rest of my life without you at my side. Will you marry me?"

Our beaming daughter managed a weak shake of her head and whispered a delighted, "YES!"

At this point Josh's joy simply overflowed. He jumped to his feet and swung Zhenya round and round...

...all the while still clasping the ring.

Eventually, he remembered that there was yet another step to this proposing thing.

He removed the ring from it's padded nest. He slid it onto the same finger as the purity ring she'd received from her Dad and me about nine years earlier. She'd kept herself pure for this very moment, for this very man!

I love Josh's very satisfied look in this photo...

...and this one.

The newly-engaged couple then remembered that they were surrounded by loved ones, the hugs began. All of the siblings were in shock with one exception.

Rachel had known ahead of time. And, she'd been a great secret keeper!

When Zhenya and Rachel reached each other, their embrace told the story of very close friends who would now become sisters.

Hope's hug came with tears.

Hope's oldest sisters, Anna and Alison, have already married and moved away. She understood immediately that this wonderful news for Zhenya would result in yet another round of grief as she would have to let go of the day-to-day relationship she has enjoyed with Zhenya during her growing-years . Zhenya patiently and compassionately held Hope until her sobs had subsided.

After several rounds of happy hugs, Mr. Reynolds delivered some happy news to the couple. With the change in status change from a courting couple to an engaged one, they could now hold hands. When their courtship began, the two sets of parents had requested that they refrain from physical contact. We asked this of the two of them so that any bond they built would be one of hearts and souls melding together. We didn't want them to mistake physical attraction for a love that could go the distance in the ups and downs of a marriage.

This then is that very first hand hold.

As Josh was happily gripping Zhenya's hand, he asked, "Can I also put my arm around her?". He got a "yes", and I snapped this photo as he slipped his arm around her for the first time. With God's enabling grace, the duo plans to wait to kiss until they are married on Labor Day weekend in early September. They begged both sets of parents for a short engagement because they know the wait to become one flesh will be a difficult one.

After a celebratory iced coffee at the local coffee shop we'd found the day before, both families headed back to the Castille's home.

Later that afternoon, I found Josh and Zhenya on the screened porch swing. Despite having JUST gotten engaged, their hearts--and laps--were open to three of Josh's siblings. When this scene caught my eye, it seemed almost prophetic. Josh and Zhenya both love children and are eager to fill their home with them. Lord willing, someday their laps will be filled yet again but this time with their own kiddos.

And, perhaps, some of their children will also be older adoptees like Zhenya once was...neglected or abused children in need of both love and the great good news of the gospel. We know of no couple better equipped and better experienced in what it means to really love the least of these.

 Our God heals!

Getting Close...and No News Yet

I've set aside the afternoon to finish the third segment of the story of Josh and Zhenya's engagement. If you missed the first two "episodes", they can be found here: 

He Proposed with a Frisbee, Part 1

He Proposed with a Frisbee, Part 2

I also wanted to update you, dear reader, that Anna hasn't yet gone into labor. She is due on Sunday, June 7. I'll keep you posted. Thank you for reading our family's story. God has been so good to us, and our joy increases when we get to share the news of His goodness with others!

Tomorrow, June 6, our oldest grandtreasure, Brielle, turns THREE!!! Here's a favorite photo from her first birthday party. She was at the age where she cared a whole lot more about the tissue paper than the gift inside the bag.

How Josh and Zhenya Met

While you wait for the third post telling the story of Josh proposing to Zhenya, I thought you might enjoy knowing how they met. Nearly two years ago, Josh was the best man in his brother Sean's wedding. We attended the beautiful ceremony in the mountains of New Hampshire while on a trip to visit Eric Moores' family. Later that fall, Eric and our daughter, Alison would wed.

Zhenya was thrilled that we went out of our way to attend this wedding because one of her closest friends is Rachel Castille, the sister of the groom and best man.

During the reception, I was fascinated to watch Josh and Rachel dance together. There was a tremendous grace to their movement which spoke to me about the kind of friendship the siblings must have.

I was even more touched when the pair paused to watch their father dance with their little sister, whom I knew had been adopted from RUSSIA of all places.

Little did I know as I took these photos that God was putting into place the pieces that would later become the groundwork for Josh and Zhenya's love story. While Zhenya and Josh were introduced at this event, it would be another year before Mr. R got a call from Josh asking if he could court our oldest Russian. The Lord's ways are so mysterious! He abounds in lovingkindness!

Will Her Eyes Be Blue?

Back in April, we shared the news that our oldest daughter, Anna, is expecting again.

Aaron and Anna's third daughter is due THIS SUNDAY, June 7. At 39 weeks along, Anna is doing very well, and we thank God for the good health of both mother and baby! Aaron and Anna are planning a home delivery, Lord willing. In addition to a midwife, a doula will also attend the birth. Once they're certain Anna is in labor, they'll alert us. Then Zhenya and I will start our travel to Ohio. The tradition in our family is that the oldest daughter still living at home gets to accompany me when a new baby is born. Thus this time, it's Zhenya's turn.

When Evelyn was born, Alison traveled with me. We were so very blessed to arrive a mere 45 minutes after Evelyn's birth. I wonder what the Lord has in store this time...

Anna and Aaron are so eager to meet their little girl, as are all of us. As the time draws near for the baby girl's birth, we're wondering things like, "Will she have blue eyes and fair hair like both of her older sisters? Or is there any chance this little pixie will get her mama's dark chocolate brown eyes and thick brown hair?"

I'll keep you posted, readers, as the Lord ushers our next family member into this world. We would be grateful if you'd pray for the safety of Anna and the baby.

Brielle (top) and Evelyn, both at about 20 months old, with their oh-so blue eyes:

Too Wise to Be Mistaken, Too Good to Be Unkind

Around the time we adopted the middle trio (Christina, Faith and Hope) from Russia in 2005, God, in His providence, led me to a gem of a book that I've read and reread a number of times as we parent special needs children. In Too Wise to Be Mistaken, Too Good to be Unkind: Christian Parents Contend with Autism, Cathy Steere opens her heart and shares the story of her family's painful and often-times confusing journey to their oldest son's autism diagnosis.

Although none of our children are on the autism spectrum, I've still found the book's raw honesty about the faith struggle the couple endured helpful. Parenting developmentally-delayed and disabled children as we're doing can stir up big questions about God's love, goodness and wisdom!

One of the ways that Cathy and her husband endured the spiritual confusion was to cling to truths about God's loving sovereignty captured in an old hymn sung at their church. I'm so glad she shares the lyrics in her book, the words have been a balm to my soul a number of times, too:

Whate'er my God ordains is right:
Holy his will abideth;
I will be still whate'er he doth,
And follow where he guideth:
He is my God;
Though dark my road,
He holds me that I shall not fall:
Wherefore to him I leave it all.

Whate're my God ordains is right
He never will deceive me;
He leads me by the proper path;
I know he will not leave me
I take, content, what he hath sent;
His hand can turn my griefs away,
And patiently I wait his day.

Whate'er my God ordains is right:
Though now this cup, in drinking,
May bitter seem to my faint heart,
I take it, all unshrinking:
My God is true,
Each morn anew
Sweet comfort yet shall fill my heart,
And pain and sorrow shall depart.

Whate'er my God ordains is right:
Here shall my stand be taken;
Though sorrow, need, or death be mine,
Yet am I not forsaken;
My Father's care
Is round me there;
He holds me that I shall not fall
And so to him I leave it all.
(Words by Samuel Rodigast, translated by Catherine Winkworth)

Blessings,
Denise

Submit to my Husband? Me?!? 3 Helpful Books

Friends, I entered our marriage in 1983 thinking that the concept of submitting to one's husband was arcane at best. Well...truthfully, I entered our marriage thinking that "submit" was a four-letter word. I thought the concept was ridiculous, despite the fact that I was a Christian. I was thoroughly steeped in our culture's view of a wife's submission.

When we'd been married about 17 years, I was blessed to build a friendship with a fellow homeschool mom who knew her Bible a whole lot better than I did. As the bond between us grew, I began to see a sweetness and tenderness and respect in her attitude toward her husband that I lacked. This dear friend and I spent much time together during that season of our parenting. Our husband's jobs had taken both our families to England for a season. As homeschooling ex-pats, we didn't have many British friends. Thus we spent nearly every Wednesday afternoon together. Our kiddos were similar ages and spent hours playing imagination games together. And Sheila and I talked and talked while enjoying tall glasses of Diet Coke over plenty of ice. My curiosity regarding submission was peaked by her quiet example.

Eventually I began to ask how she had made peace with this biblical concept that our culture HATES, and she led me to books that opened my eyes to God's teaching. I was astounded. Having my ear attuned to the siren song of our culture had resulted in me sailing all too close to dangerous rocks as a wife. I was harming our marriage by insisting on my own way, instead of living God's way.

I kept reading. I also purposed to dig into God's word for myself. Slowly, I began to change as a wife. And our marriage began to change -- for the better. If you were to ask Mr. R, he would say that our 17th year of marriage was a real turning point in the unity between us. He is so grateful for Sheila's influence on my spiritual walk.

I'd like to tell you that once my eyes were open, my arrogance regarding leading in our marriage and home disappeared. But, that hasn't been the case. The "Eve" in me keeps wanting to lead my husband away from God to the forbidden fruit. Any time I take the reins in our marriage, our marriage and family suffer.

As a result, I have continued to look for books that remind me of  GOD'S WAY FOR A WIFE. The Lord has blessed that search. The three books listed here have blessed me and my man! Wives, I highly recommend them. I also want to encourage young women and teen girls who hope to marry some day to read these titles. Your marriage will start off with a far greater beauty and grace than is possible when the wife fights submitting to her husband!

Is There a Moose in Your Marriage by Nancy Cobb and Connie Grigsby
This was one of the first books I read that made submission seem not only understandable, but doable.This book is written by two women whose marriages had suffered desperately until they came to understand their role as wives as God commands. It's a delightful read, spiced with humor and yet profound in its counsel. This book really opened my eyes to HOW I could submit when my nature fights against it. I have reread this book numerous times.

Fierce Women: The Power of a Soft Warrior by Kimberly Wagner
This book rocked my world just two years ago. After all my study on submission, I truly thought I was a living in an ongoing way of submission to Mr. R as the God-ordained head of our household. However, I had slipped into subtle ways of undermining his leadership... I was undermining him in ways to which I was completely blind. Reading this book brought a strong-yet-tender rebuke from God. Kimberly shares the story of how the fierceness she failed to recognize actually changed the personality of the man with whom she'd fallen in love and married. As I read this book, I was startled to realize that I am a fierce woman! I, too, was changing the personality of my beloved husband... and not for the better! I would actually credit this powerful and biblical read with helping to lift our marriage out of a pit we'd fallen into after more than a quarter century as husband and wife. Kimberly clearly expounds on how we can be women of great strength -- world-changers even -- while also being godly, submissive wives.

My So-Called Life as a Submissive Wife: A One-Year Experiment and Its Liberating Results
by Sara Horn

Last year some time, I actually grabbed this book at a truck stop on a lark. I was just curious to see another Christian author's take on the biblical concept of submission. The book is a fun read. Sara writes with much humor about her year-long experiment with truly trying to obey God's word regarding submitting to her husband. I don't want to give away too much about what she learned, but one change that slowly began to emerge was that the more she submitted, the more her husband stepped up and filled the spiritual-leadership vacuum that had frustrated her for 14 years. I found this to be a convicting quote:

"What God says, He means. We need to read His word. Not take the word of other people who read it but read it for ourselves...

"Do we follow God or do we follow ourselves?

"Think about it.

"If we're just following ourselves--if we ask God's help only when we want it and ignore the rest of what He says--we don't really have a relationship with Christ. We just have a bunch of rules we've made up and pretend to follow until we don't want to. But a relationship with Christ means giving all of myself.

"Serving God isn't easy. But He loves us. Unconditionally. Relentlessly. And it's not that hard to follow Someone who loves you. Knowing Him and serving Him makes things much more clear." (Pg. 114) 

It is my prayer that these books will bless you as they have me. Jim and I are in our 32nd year of marriage and more deeply in love than ever. I thank God for the wisdom with which He has filled each of these authors who have helped me to be a far better wife to my man.

May God richly bless you and keep you, friends,
Denise Reynolds