Two Become One: The Ceremony

Mrs. Beaver:

Not long after Anna and Aaron's wedding we shared a number of photos from big day. One post I never got to, however, was the actual ceremony. With Anna and Aaron visiting this weekend, I've been thinking about the two of them a great deal. Thus with a hint of a smile on my face as I relived the joy of their wedding day, this afternoon I gathered these photographs from mulitple files.

Aaron and Anna chose to keep the decorations in the sanctuary simple. White bows decked the pews,

While two bouquets of white roses adorned the alter. The bulletin said this about the roses, "The flowers on the alter are in gratitude to Anna's birthparents for giving her life." Both Anna's birthmother and birthfather were part of the day's festivities, making the day extra special for her. 

After hours of preperation all was ready. The flower girls, bridesmaids and the bride were lined up just outside the sanctuary.

Inside the sanctuary, Anna's 17-year-old sister, Jaynie, played one of Anna's favorite classical pieces, "Carnival of the Animals: The Swan."

The mothers lit the Unity Candle.

Pastor Dave Sowers, the groom and his groomsmen marched to their places to await the arrival of the bridesmaids and bride.

Lissie, the maid-of-honor, was the last in the bridesmaids' processional.

I swung around eager to catch a glimpse Anna.

Sheepishly I realized I'd forgotten about the flower girls--my own daughters! Anna's youngest three sisters delightedly filled the role.

Oksana (left, age 6) and Cassandra (age 10) came down the aisle used by the bridal party to enter, while Amy (age 8) decorated the aisle which the newly married couple would use to exit the sanctuary.

Once the petals were strewn, the bride stepped into the sanctuary on her daddy's arm.

(You can just make them out in the background of this beautiful photo.)

As I peeked around friends and family from my front row seat, I saw:

The impatient groom waited patiently as Anna and I embraced one final time.

Then the bride's father presented Anna Mackenzie to her groom...

...as Arianna, Elizabeth, Emily and Lissie (l-r) watched .

As Aaron and Anna met, Pastor Dave Sowers waited in the background. He has been our family's pastor for nine years and is a dear family friend. His daughter, Emily (also newly married), was one of Anna's bridesmaids.

Aaron and Anna met at the alter before God and those in attendance who would witness as they...

...vowed before the Lord to put the needs of the other first. To fight selfishness....To lay down their own agenda...To live to serve the other...To learn to love out-serving the other.

They would vow to cling to the Lord--together...To seek the Lord--together...To abide in the Lord--together.

They would acknowledge before God and man their inability to live up to these vows without the Lord's help--minute-by-minute, each day for the rest of their lives.

Anna's brother, John, and her sister, Daria, read 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. John read each verse in English. Then Daria, adopted from Russia just four months earlier, read the same verse in Russian.

John returned to his place as best man. (Daria is in the background on the right.)

We sang, "There is a Fountain" and "And Can It Be" as Aaron's sister, Amber, played the piano.

At one point I let my thoughts wander as we sang. I was wondering how often a bride and groom are flanked by twins serving as their maid-of-honor and best man.

After we sang, Anna's friend and mentor, Tanya, read Shakespeare's Sonnet 116.

Aaron's friend, Pete, then shared Colossians 3:12-16.

This was followed by Pastor Dave's message on Joshua's famous words to the Israelites, "As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord," (Joshua 24:15), a passage Aaron and Anna had picked during premarital counseling.

When he finished, the two exchanged vows.

Followed by the exchange of the rings.

After vowing fidelity to one another until death parts them, Aaron prayed over their union for the first time in his role as husband and spiriutal leader. We all watched on as the rest of the world faded away for the two of them...

After Aaron's prayer, the parents surrounded the couple while both dads prayed for their marriage.

All that was left was the kiss...

which went on...

...and on...

...and on...

Until, finally, Pastor Dave good naturedly urged Aaron and Anna from his position behind them to remember those in attendance and finish the ceremony.

Really, though, who could blame the two of them for lingering?

They had waited. They had waited through the months in which they were getting to know one another. They had waited through their courtship. They had waited through their engagement. They had waited to share that first kiss until they were husband and wife. And the reward was sweet!

As a mom, I cheered the two of them on. All four parents had urged Aaron and Anna to wait for a physical relationship until their wedding day. How sweet it was to be able to celebrate that with God's enabling power, they had stood firm against the wiles of our culture and saved the best for once they were "one flesh." (Genesis 2:24, Ephesians 5:31)!

Once they'd finished the kiss, Pastor Dave introduced Mr. & Mrs. Aaron Nix.

Anna retrieved her bouquet from Lissie and...

...the newly married couple departed. Well, temporarily.

They returned to hug friends and family, starting with us.

We then made our departure, filled to the brim with joy. Our first child had just left the nest. While knew we'd miss her terribly, we also knew she was just where God wanted her.

Fearing the Unknown?

Mrs. Beaver:

Today I stumbled across a quote that made my soul cry, "Yes!" In a blog called Passionate Homemaking, author Lindsay reflects on her husband's recent move from employee to self-employment. One of her concluding thoughts is this:

"It is in the unknown that fellowship with my Lord is sweetest. It is in the unknown that God's mercy is most beautifully manifested. It is in the unknown that our faith is refined and comes forth shining more brightly."

Amen. AMEN! And a resounding A.M.E.N!!! (I've been cautioning my young writers as I teach them not to rely on exclamation points for emphasis, but Lindsay's insight is worthy of some rule-breaking in my mind.)

Are you facing a health problem? Broken relationship? Uncertain career path? Unsure of your next address? Wondering how you'll meet your spouse? Called by the Lord into service that is way outside your comfort zone? Nudged to adopt?

We don't have to be afraid of a nebulous future. We don't have to be overwhelmed by trepidation when facing the unknown. God is there.

Uncertainty is not our enemy, despite what our feelings may tell us. When what we know is stripped away, God is there. He will be with you. He is a promise-keeping God, and He has declared He will never leave you. God will guide you. God will give you wisdom. God will strengthen you.

When the rug has been pulled out from under you and the last thing you ever expected has happened, God gives...Himself. Isn't this the good news of great joy which the babe in a manger heralds? Jesus' very name, Emmanuel, means God with us! (Isaiah 7:14, Matthew 1:23)

Mr. Beaver and I have experienced living in the unknown. One of the givens of adopting is that the process takes you chin-deep into the murky waters of ambiguity. You don't know what will happen when. You can't control the outcome. In fact, you can't control...anything.

And yet, through four adoptions and the addition of ten children to our family, God has been with us. Despite periods of white-knuckled fear, God has given us...Himself. We have tasted His goodness (Psalm 34:8). We have been cocooned in His peace. Seemingly inexplicable joy has welled up in the darkness and lighted our way. When we've sensed danger, we've felt Him. Near. God has been with us.

The fellowship with the Lord that we've experienced when our lives have been at their most extreme has been so sweet, so palpable that we hunger for more. We're...well...addicted. Would we be willing to step out into the unkown just to get intimacy with God? In a word, YES! Maybe service in a Muslim country instead of retirement... Maybe another adoption before we even reach retirement... We just don't know yet. But we do know He'll lead, and we'll follow. You see, now we know. We don't have to fear the unknown. God is there.

A Moving Story in 2-1/2 Minutes

Our oldest daughter, Anna, (featured in the wedding pictures above) became ours as a newborn through an independent adoption. We were privileged to develop a precious relationship with Anna's birthmother, "H," during her pregnancy, and our friendship continues two decades later. The wonder of "H" placing Anna in our arms and allowing us to parent her has never faded.

The story below struck many cords in my heart as I watched and yet again reveled in God's goodness to the two of us, an extraordinarily barren couple. Anna's birthmother truly sacrificed her own interests and put her life on hold. But her sacrifical love for the baby she would not parent meant a little girl we named Anna might have life. Over the course of her 21 years, Anna's kind-hearted exuberance has blessed many. Anna pours out affection on all she meets. She loves...and she loves...and she loves. So many lives would have been sadly different if Anna had been aborted.

(If you watch, don't forget to mute our music first.)


an adoption story // kelly, kelly, candace + chapel from stillmotion on Vimeo.

New Blog: Christian Optimistism Bolstered

Mr. and Mrs. Beaver:

Photo credit -- Cassandra

Our oldest son, John (known until now by the blog name "Joe"), has observed a cultural trend. In fact, he hasn't just noticed it. John would tell you that for the past couple of years he's been a participant in this trend. Skepticism has wound its tentacles around the hearts of many, and John knows the monster well. He has shared with us that the temptation to bend toward worldly thinking has held his hope hostage, leaving him frequently joyless and all-too-often vulnerable to irritation and exasperation.

John wants to be more consistently buoyed by belief. He's ready to fight skepticism's sinister power. On the eve of turning twenty, he's determined to stand on the life-producing belief found only in Christ, even as his generation is at risk of being crippled by cynicism. He's going to share his thoughts in a new blog called Surprised by Optimism. We invite you to read his first post. Then follow as he wars against culturally-correct doubt and disbelief. He'll share his struggles, while not losing sight of opportunities for humor. We hope you'll read, then engage in the fight to ward off the quiet creep of cynicism in your own life.

Five Things I've Learned from My Husband

Mrs. Beaver:

Tomorrow is our 28th wedding anniversary. I can't think of a better way to celebrate God's incredible goodness to me than by sharing some of the ways He hs used Mr. Beaver to impact my life:

1. Never go to bed angry. This idea didn't originate with Mr. Beaver, of course. God records this relationship-saving wisdom in the Bible, "...do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not give the devil an opportunity" (Ephesians 4:26,27). When we began marriage nearly three decades ago, Jim insisted we live according to this principle. This has made for some late, late nights, getting very few zzzzs. However, the effort has been worth every nearly-sleepless night as it has kept our union free from the growth of bitterness.

2. Never go to bed without relationship reconciliation. This may sound redundant, but it goes a step beyond Point 1. We can tell ourselves we're free of anger and still not be free of our agenda. No matter the depth of disagreement, my husband insists we stay awake until sweetness returns. He requires us to live, "Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ Jesus has forgiven you." (Ephesians 4:32). Jim's leadership on this point has kept our relationship with each other amiable and gracious. He demands the same standard in our relationships with all 13 children (10 by adoption, two by birth, one by marriage).

3. Never part from a loved one without relationship reconciliation. Again, this may sound redundant. The focus of this Point 3, however, is not saying good-night but saying good-bye. Jim's father died in a plane crash when he was just seven. His mom has spent decades grateful to the Lord that the two of them had this "rule." When my mother-in-law became a widow, she had no regrets. Their relationship was free of fresh bruises and free of unhealed harm from old battles. Jim has insisted that everyone in our family love each other in this same way. Even if we're running out the door late, we must stop and set any damaged relationship right. (See Matthew 5:23,24)

4. The way to a person's heart is through service. I've learned the value of meeting the needs of others by being the object of Mr. Beaver's ongoing selflessness. For as long as I can remember, my husband has walked in from work uttering the same four words to me, "How can I help?" His willingness to put my needs and those of his children before his own desires, even when he's exhausted, has refreshed me nightly and left our kids in awe of their daddy. They "get" what a sacrifice their father's offer is, and they're able to recognize Christ at work in him. The influence his service has had on their hearts has made me to want work harder at honoring Jesus' words: "For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve..." (Mark 10:45) Mr. Beaver imitates His Saviour beautifully, day in and day out.

5. God's word is worth knowing. On my first birthday after we married, Mr. Beaver gave me a study Bible. My thought was a disgruntled, "Great...what kind of gift is this?" Obviously I didn't understand the value of God's word. However, I've had 28 years to watch as my man has read the Book, studied the Book, memorized the Book, shared the Book with our children in the evenings, and taught the Book at church. I've watched the Book change him. He's grown more tender, humble, gentle, patient, thankful, and compassionate. The more time Mr. Beaver spends in the Bible, the more he prizes God and becomes like God's Son. The Bible says, "...like newborn babies, long for the pure milk of the word". With the many other ways Mr. Beaver could spend his time (he loves to golf and has his private pilot's license), he invests it in knowing God through His word and it shows! Unlike 28 years ago, I now understand the value of knowing God's word and try to follow Mr. Beaver's example in impressing it on my heart (Deuteronomy 11:18)!

I love my husband deeply. I thank God for Mr. Beaver, and for all Mr. Beaver has taught me since we stood at the alter. This list barely scratches the surface. Daily, I watch him. I learn from him. I glean more and more wisdom from him. I hope and pray the Lord will allow me many more years to follow him as he follows God.

Jaynie's Home!

Mrs. Beaver:

We're thankful to God--our precious Jaynie is home! She's been the homeschool helper for a couple of American families in a central Asian country since August.

Many of our friends joined us at the airport to celebrate Jaynie's return.

The plane had landed and passengers were disembarking. We were watching for the ONE special face!

Our first glimpse of Jaynie!

A very relieved, happy dad--deeply grateful to God for keeping his girlie safe

Jaynie's first sibling hug came from Cassandra

Jaynie's other siblings quickly took their turns.

 Next, Jaynie greeted friends who'd come to welcome her back

In the midst of happy celebration, Jaynie never strayed far from her daddy

Before long we headed around the corner in our small airport to gather Jaynie's luggage. She was still greeting friends...

(A special thanks to our dear friends the Nisius family for coming all the way from Minneapolis just to share this special day with our family. Here Jaynie is embracing Amanda, whose been like an aunt to Jaynie and her biological siblings since we adopted the three of them in 2001.)

Cassandra stayed close by as Jaynie made her way through the crowds.

I got the very first hug as Jaynie emerged from security, although our reunion wasn't caught on camera. By the time we entered the baggage area, I was eager for another long embrace. I've already received the very best Christmas gift--having my daughter home.

Our family has so much catching up to do. Jaynie's been able to call nearly every day since she left, but the phone calls are usually only a few minutes long. Skype and email have been tremendous blessings, but now we get to hear the details of her amazing adventure.

What a joy to be TOGETHER! And what a great way to start the weekend in which we'll celebrate the birth of Jesus. God become man. King become servant. Baby become suffering Savior.

We wish you the merriest of Christmases!

Photos courtesy of Amanda N. and Kaylee H.

North Shore Afternoon: Mark

Mrs. Beaver:

As I've mentioned before, our family was able to spend Thanksgiving week in Minnesota. The weather was blessedly warm for that time of the year along the shore of Lake Superior. On one of the afternoons most of the kids wandered out to explore the shoreline.

With our camera, I tried to catch a bit of personality. Last time I shared a glimpse of Lissie's thoughtful spirit. Here I'd like to share Mark's adventurous personality. He's a curious soul who enjoys investigating his surroundings. I think that's all I need to say; these photos speak for themselves. As the saying goes, our second son is all boy.

When we first met five-year-old Mark at his orphange in Russia, his risk taking scared us. He was unusually small for his age but would climb to the the height of the rusted frames that served as the children's playground equipment. He would then catch our eye, grin and dismount by doing some daring feat like a front flip. These nervous prospective parents were just certain he would break a bone before we could get him home!

Mark and Cassandra on their orphanage grounds, September 2001

As a naturally timid person, I've come to appreciate Mark's willingness to learn by trying. He has matured in his risk taking; now I rarely worry that he's putting himself in danger. I suspect that as Mark grows into manhood we'll get to watch the Lord make use of the trait He Himself built into this former orphan. He has a plan for our son -- Mark is a marvel, fearfully and wonderfully made by our great God (Psalm 139)!