Eric and Lissie's Courtship: Winter Warmth

Mrs. Beaver:

Eric and Lissie's Courtship: Her Small Hand in His Gentle Grip

Mrs. Beaver:

My computer is seriously under the weather and that has kept me from posting photos for several days.

However, tonight I'm going to try to trick my ill machine into allowing me to share a picture. Today was just too special in our family to not get at least one photo posted to mark the day. This was Lissie and Eric's first day to hold hands! Their expressions say it all.

Photo credit to Lissie's sister Cassandra

Eric and Lissie's Courtship: The Art of Studying

Mrs. Beaver:

 

 

It might surprise you that the first photo I'm posting since Eric arrived to visit soon after we announced Eric and Lissie's courtship is this one. But to this mom, the picture speaks volumes. 

 

After Lissie's dad gave Eric his permission to court Lissie with the intent to see if the Lord would have the two of them marry, Eric wrote to us. As part of the grateful email, he mentioned his desire to "study" Lissie. The words delighted me. The sentiment has the sweet fragrance of romance about it. What mother wouldn't love to have her daughter blessed in that thoughtful way? But, the concept Eric touched on also carries the weight of wisdom.

 

Eric and Lissie face the biggest decision of their lives. And they must navigate these waters of choice carefully because both of them are utterly committed to the concept of "until death do we part." God said, "And the two shall become one flesh; so they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate" (Mark 10:8,9 NASB). Divorce will never be an option for either of them, no matter who they marry. And if they end up marrying one another, they're so young that they need to be prepared to go "dancing in the mine fields" for 60, maybe even 70 years. Whew!

 

On top of all that, this is a decision that will have a multi-generational impact. Thus, Eric and Lissie must both be about the business of studying each other. They must study each other now--before they stand at an altar and say, "I do." They have a great deal of intentional interacting to do, whether in person or over Skype while 6,300 miles apart.

 

The idea of Eric studying Lissie made this mama's heart happy for an additional reason. A really good, multi-decade union worthy of the title "marriage" is made up of a lifetime of spouse-studying by both the husband and wife. When the other person's likes, dislikes, fears, dreams, hopes, and even idiosyncrasies are watched and mentally recorded, the husband or wife has the information necessary to delight in, support and encourage the God-given uniquenesses and strengths of their best friend. Both spouses also have what they need to be their life-partner's greatest prayer warrior at those places of personal weakness which we all have. Each can call down God's grace in a way that allows the other to grow and change and be more than they ever would have been alone.

 

So, Eric's determination to study our second-oldest daughter is wise beyond his years. What was he watching so thoughtfully in the photo above? You've got the picture now--Eric was carefully observing Lissie as she played a Bach concerto on her violin with her long-time duet partner and sister, Anna. By laying aside whatever he was doing at the time and coming to the door of our music room, Eric got an important glimpse into who Lissie is and what's important to her. I am certain that God will bless his willingness to be selfless as he puts forth this ongoing effort to be studious as he courts our daughter.

If It Weren't for Adoption...

Mrs. Beaver:

Oksana (8) with her niece, Brielle (6 months)

If the little girl in braids hadn't been adopted, she'd never have had any brothers or sisters. She also would have missed out on the delight of being an auntie. Thank You, Lord, for placing the lonely in families. Thank You for placing Oksana in our family! (Psalm 68:6)

A Time to Weep and a Time to Laugh

Mrs. Beaver:

We woke to the news that Russian President Vladimir Putin signed into law a much-talked about piece of legislation that prohibits Americans from adopting Russian children. After jumping through countless hoops and visiting our kiddos in September, we were oh-so very close to a court date. Yet our avenue for adding the "Fab Four" to our family is now roadblocked. As the realization sunk in this morning, our hearts hurt.

As we grieved our way through the first half of the day, we kept our eye on the clock. We needed to be at the airport at 2 p.m. As we announced in the post called "A Surprise", our daughter Lissie is being courted by Eric Moores. Eric and his sister, Kali, a dear friend of Lissie's were on their way for a visit.

We arrived at the airport a tad early and their flight was a full hour late.

As I paced the itsy-bitsy airport, a set of Bible verses kept occurring to me. What wound its way through my head and made its way into my heart was the famous passage from Ecclesiastes 3: "There is a time for everything...a time to weep and a time to laugh." (verses 1,4)

Usually when I read that passage I think of the opposites mentioned in the long list as happening at different times, perhaps one following the other. But right now, God has laid on our plate both a reason for sorrow and a reason for joy. Perhaps another metaphor works even better. The grief and the happiness are like two sides of a coin. I choose to see this dichotomy as a great kindness from a good God.

While we pray-pray-pray-pray that God will provide a way around or over or under the roadblock to adopting our kiddos, we can be focusing on life and laughter and love and living in a way that glorifies God despite our circumstances. Grief and gladness can co-exist.

So as God lifted my spirits, I was able to enjoy how beautiful my daughter looked as she waited for her guy. This was to be the first time they'd seen each other since they started courting seven weeks ago. When the courtship began, Lissie was living in Central Asia.

 

The two have been counting the days for this "together time" for weeks, but Lissie told me despite her excitement she was also a bit nervous.

 

 

Finally, the plane landed and the whole family lined up to support Lissie and cheer on the duo. We've all known Eric for nearly three years and he is a favorite with the whole tribe.

 

 

At last, Lissie caught sight of a tall, dark...well, you get the picture.

 

 

Eric was hurrying toward Lissie at a record-setting pace!

 

 

Eric and Lissie's hug took place too fast for me to catch with my camera. That brevity was purposeful on their part and it had been decided upon through ongoing discussions long before they reached each other's arms. Still in the initial stage of their courtship, they've chosen to wait on physical shows of affection until they have a better sense of whether God's will is for them to spend their lives together with nothing parting them but death.

 

So for now, Eric's embrace is for his sister. We're so glad both of them will be spending two weeks with us. They feel just like family and having them around increases the amount of laughter that rings through our home. Right now we could use some extra laughter, while we pray-pray-pray-pray that eventually our sorrow will be turned to joy and our mourning to dancing as we celebrate the addition of four kiddos to our number.

 

 

God is good all the time. All the time God is good.

Lissie's Take on Having Russian Siblings

Mrs. Beaver:

Here's another link. This time written by our daughter, Lissie.

Orphan Care: A Heart Check

Mrs. Beaver:

Amy (newly 3) in the arms of her orphanage director as we prepared to leave to unite her with her sisters,
Tatanya and Natasha,at their orphanage and then head take the three of them to their new family and home

It would be easy to think that the political move in Russia that threatens to eliminate the ability of Americans to give loving homes to kids who desperately need them is just an issue that affects those of us who have been led to adopt from that country.

But perhaps there's more to recent events than we might think.

Here's a link with some penetrating thoughts:

From My Heart

The post is long, but please at least scan it. Stare at her photos. And contemplate God's commands:

"Wash yourselves, make yourselves clean;
Remove the evil of your deeds from my sight.
Learn to do good;
Seek justice,
Reprove the ruthless,
Defend the orphan,
Plead for the widow." Isaiah 1:16,17

Now consider:

Is my desire for convenience and ease stronger than I realized? Has the craving for my life to be comfortable kept me from opening my home to a child?

Has fear held me back from being willing to parent a child who will come with emotional scars? Do I lack trust in God that He will get us through the toughest of times?

Do I doubt that God would provide the financial means if I said yes to adoption?

Am I afraid that the neat and tidy family we have might be changed in a way I won't like?

Have I held back because my current ministry might be hampered? What if God has something even bigger and more impactful in mind?

And one last question:

Empty-nesters and nearly empty-nesters: while you're yet young enough, what eternal difference could you make in the life of a child using those parenting skills you've honed for so long?

Now consider God's words at the opposite end of the book of Isaiah:

"Is this not the fast which I choose,
To loosen the bonds of wickedness,
To undo the bands of the yoke,
To let the oppressed go free
And break every yoke?
Is it not to divide your bread with the hungry
and bring the homeless poor into your house?" Isaiah 58:6,7 ESV

God expects His people's lives to look markedly different than their culture. He calls us to live sacrificially, loving the least of these as our service of worship to Him who loved us when we were yet His enemies.

Adoption Update: Children Taking a Backseat to Politics

Mrs. Beaver:

Below are a series of photos which the Lord allowed me to take during a Christmas open house that Anna and Aaron hosted during my recent visit.

As darkness descended that evening, the Christmas tree grew magical in its glow. I took advantage of the lighting to capture some pictures of our granddaughter, Brielle, in the embrace of her Aunt Arianna with her husband, Eric, beside them (Aaron's sister and brother-in-law). The pair are renowned for doting on their little niece.

 

 

  

 

 

 

 

 

You may very well be wondering what these pictures have to do with the title of this post. What do photos of Brielle in her aunt and uncle's arms have to do with orphans and politics?

 

The connection is this: the longer Mr. Beaver and I parent the more clearly we "get" that every child was built by God to need affection and encouragement. Our granddaughter is blessed to be receiving this kind of lavish love, not only from her parents but also from extended family.

 

In contrast, we're parenting nine children who grew up without even receiving minimal attention for much of their lives. They were neglected and often abandoned for long periods of time. Initially, they lived in broken homes... homes so broken that they were eventually pulled out and placed in orphanages. While there, they received good physical care, but their dedicated caretakers simply could not give so many children under their care the nurture that the children's God-given nature requires. They needed to be in loving families!

 

And now a large number of institutionalized children in Russia who could get that care through adoption are at risk of being denied. Within the past couple of weeks a battle has been brewing between America and Russia over a number of issues. In response to a bill passed in the US Congress, both houses of the Russian parliament (the Duma) quickly and overwhelmingly passed a bill that includes a ban on American adoption of Russian children. That bill now simply awaits President Putin's signature to become law.

 

In the end, this measure would prevent the adoption of children who will almost certainly remain in institutions until they age out and face the harsh reality of life with out the support of family. Statistics document that nearly all of these children will be at grave risk for crime and suicide.

 

Things look bleak.

 

But we're not giving up, and we're not giving in. Our desire to become the parents of the "Fab Four" has not diminished in the least. We love them. Therefore, we're continuing to fulfill document requests that came in before all this developed. Why are we bothering when things look hopeless? We're not facing this battle to adopt alone. God is with us. God is for them. And we're beseeching Him to intervene. He has declared Himself to be the Father of the Fatherless. He is Almighty. And He says over and over in His word that He will not tolerate the oppression of orphans. Our faith is in Him. We believe He will bring a solution to a situation that looks impossible.

 

Please pray. As important as our four are, they're only four out of untold thousands. This is about countless children who are more vulnerable than most of us can even imagine. Please pray!

 

There are Americans ready and willing to lavish affection on orphaned Russian children--to treasure and cherish them, just like Brielle's Uncle Eric is doing for her here. Please pray they get the chance!

 

A Surprise

Mrs. Beaver:

About two months ago, Lissie got the shock of her life. Her dad Skyped and told her a young man had contacted him seeking permission to court her. Lissie was floored! Although her life dream is to marry and become a mom, she sincerely didn't believe that deep desire could possibly come true until she was in her late twenties.

The young man who had contacted Mr. Beaver has been a family friend for about 2-1/2 years since he first came to a multi-day CollegePlus! gathering at our home. About three dozen college students--and some of their siblings--attended the event from around the country. When Mr. Beaver asked Lissie if she would be interested in being courted by Eric Moores, her response was an immediate and ecstatic, "Yes!" She'd come to deeply respect His love of God and she's also learned to appreciate his sense of humor. Lissie had been able to take note of these traits and others during several other CollegePlus! gatherings that both attended over the past couple of years.

The two are now going through the process of seeking God's will for their future while getting to know one another well enough to discern whether they should pursue marriage.

For the past few weeks all their contact has had to be via Skype or email, but later this week Eric and his sister Kali, one of Lissie's dear friends, will visit us from their home outside Boston for two full weeks so that the young couple has the chance to really get to know one another in person before she returns to Central Asia in mid January for another five months stint.

Today our twins went to see "The Hobbit" together. While they were gone, a special delivery arrived for Lissie. She walked into the house oblivious to the surprise that awaited her...

 

...but, as you can see below, she grew immediately suspicious that something was up when she noticed the whole family was watching her entry into the kitchen. And then...

 

 

...she noticed the flowers. Her face turned as pink as her coat!

 

 

She made a wide arc around the beautiful bouquet...

 

 

...unsure of how to proceed. After all, these were the first flowers she'd ever received from a young man!

 

 

Her siblings didn't lack for ideas on what Lissie should do. They happily chanted, "Read the note! Read the note!" So tentatively she moved in just close enough to grab the card. She then backed away as though she feared the beauty before her might just be too good to be true.

 

Lissie read Eric's words and then stared contemplatively for a moment at the bouquet with a blissful grin spread across her face.

Clutching Eric's message, Lissie ran to her Daddy and sunk into his embrace. She then looked up into his eyes and asked plaintively, "Is this okay with you?"

When Eric and Lissie began their courtship, they went out of their way to request that their parents guide and counsel them as they face the biggest decision of their lives. Lissie was looking to father for leadership in this new situation.

Lissie's dad rapidly reassured her that Eric had asked before he sent the flowers.

Then a tearful daughter and a giddy daddy laughed delightedly together out of sheer joy! Lissie has no greater champion than her own dad (although that might just be changing!).

 

Finally, after initial disbelief and then some caution, Lissie was ready to relish the romance of Eric's generosity and thoughtfulness.

As she picked up the vase to admire the flowers up-close, she whispered, "How did he know...? How did he know that pink roses are my favorite flower?"

Lissie will still have to solve that mystery. However, as she said made the comment, I remembered some words Eric emailed Mr. Beaver as the courtship began, "I want to study Lissie." Apparently he's been an attentive student thus far!

 

To God be all the glory!